You cut me into pieces and as much as I hate to pretend that you don’t exist and that you're all in my head, you will always be there. So, please go away. I am begging you; I can’t deal with you anymore.
I am constantly troubled when you appear and my focus falls apart. I get worried, and I don’t know how to deal with things. I start to panic because I’m stressed and afraid. The attack, it starts with gasps for air, the feeling when everything is falling apart and drowning.
I’m fighting against waves of tears, but it’s dragging me down. Everything begins to fade and I am suffering in silence. Silent sobs because I can’t bother those around me.
I want to talk, to socialize but, because of you: I want to be alone and to forget the world existed. There are times when I can’t breathe because of you, anxiety. So, hear my pleas and just go away because enough is enough and you are too much to handle.
As you come and go when you please, I am in misery. There are times when I want to sit in bed all day. Moments, where I feel like the world’s heavyweight is on my shoulders.
I fear that one day I will crumble. One day, you will consume me and I won’t know who I am. There are days, where you create waves over me. I am slowly draining my energy fighting. I am tired of fighting and having the courage to get through every day. I promise you, that I’m going to win this battle.
I will try to fight with whatever power I have left. For now, please let me go so I can be free. Please break the chains that tie me down. Let me swim up for air instead of drowning. I am trying.