Nobody goes on dates anymore, but everybody’s hooking up. Most new couples don’t take time to define the relationship; they just keep hooking up and hanging out in limbo land because they’re too scared to ask the other person to DTR. Chances are, if you’re meeting a new person, it’s not through a mutual friend. Everybody who wants some is on dating apps like Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, Hinge and OkCupid. Dinner and a movie dates have been replaced by Netflix and chill. In 2016 romance is sparked via swipes, likes and DMs.
A direct message doesn't impress me.
Are humans so consumed in technology that they can’t even manage to communicate face to face? Instead of going out with our friends and seeing who we meet along the way, we download apps like Tinder to keep us preoccupied. Swipe left or swipe right? Is that really what sparking a romantic relationship has been reduced to for our generation?
Is a DM that says “hey there” equivalent to locking eyes across a room?
For many, online dating is normal. Maybe someday the world will rediscover what relationships and romance are built on (in-person communication) but until then, please don’t slide into my DMs.
If you’re like me, you hate 2016 “dating” (if it can even be called dating). There’s no romance, it’s all lust. Someone sees your photo on a social media and thinks you’re attractive, so he or she sends you a friend request (wait, so is a friend request 2016’s equivalence of sending a dozen roses?). There’s really nothing worse (well, let’s be honest, there are worse things) than when you see a notification in your inbox, only to find that a guy you accepted on Facebook (that is friends with your cousin and 24 more of your friends) is trying to hit on you (dang, you mutual friends for leading me to think he could be trusted). So you come to the conclusion that you want nothing to do with your not so secret admirer, now what?
Here are five ways to kick someone out of your DMs.
1. De-friend him or her.
If you just don’t have time to deal with it, the easiest way to get rid of an unwanted direct messenger is to just click that de-friend button, (see ya never)!
Pro: You will never hear from your admirer again.
Con: Is there really even a con to this method?
2. Kindly let them down.
Let’s face it, you’re creeped out that a stranger is hitting on you (but to be honest, you’re also low-key flattered). Try sending them a “thanks but no thanks” kind of message.
Pro: You’ll come off nice, but uninterested.
Con: Being too nice can lead to your admirer not taking a hint. When that happens, resort to number three.
3. Send the link to Meghan Trainor’s “No.”
It’s harsh, but effective.
Pro: You have a 99-percent chance of never hearing from that direct messenger again (hands held high emoji!).
Con: You’re gonna come off as a b****. But does it really matter? No, no, no.
4. Tell that DM-er that you already have a bae.
Letting the hopeful in your inbox know you are into someone else and not interested can work - be careful, some may be up for the challenge.
Pro: If your direct messenger has any morals or values (here’s hoping) he or she will back off.
Con: Some people are savages, the competition may only make him or her more interested.
5. Just don’t open the message.
Out of sight, out of mind, right? Social media may have killed romance, but the advent of read receipts allow you to easily ignore an unwanted admirer.
Pro: If you wanna take it as far as throwing your phone on the ground, you’ll have the perfect opportunity to sing some Lonely Island.
Con: You’ll have a shattered phone.
