1. Drop it off the side of the stage during rehearsal.

Like a lot of people, I did theatre in high school. I’ve been in four different shows, and they were all awesome. Again, like a lot of people, I did homework during rehearsal. It was the best way to get things done when I wasn’t getting home until close to seven each night. This meant I brought my laptop with me to rehearsal--and that wasn’t always a good thing. I kept my laptop in my backpack, and when it came time for rehearsal, someone picked it up and dropped it off the side of the stage. To be fair, it was only about two feet. But it was onto a concrete floor. (The screen almost came out. It wasn’t a good time.)

2. Filled the keyboard with flour.

I was baking. I dropped the bowl. ‘Nuff said. It wasn’t a good time.

3. Crashed it more times than I can count.

It’s not like my computer is old. But I’m impatient, and I like to do a lot of things at the same time. So many times, I’ve ended up with Skype, Spotify, Krita, Word, and like twenty-five tabs open all at once. So before long, I click something one too many times, and everything freezes up. Then comes the series of force-restarts and reboots. I just want to take this moment to apologize to my computer for everything that I’ve put it through.

4. Overheating.

Before I learned that it’s a bad idea to put your computer on your bed on top of blankets, I overheated my computer so many times I’m surprised I didn’t fry it completely. Here’s a tip, so you can avoid being like me: put your laptop on a hard surface. If you’re lacking in hard surfaces, make sure that your computer can breathe at least a little bit. Otherwise, you’ll end up with laptop shaped burns on your legs and a sad, overheated computer.

5. Dropping water on it.

Yes, I know, this seems like a no-brainer. But I’m startled easily, and someone opened a door near me when I wasn’t paying attention and I was in the middle of drinking water. Needless to say, I got water all over my desk, and some of it got on the computer. It’s totally fried. Nothing to be done about it. This is probably the biggest technological mishap I’ve ever had--and it’s costing me my entire computer. So there you have it folks--don’t take any leaves out of my book. It’s a bad idea.

Update: just got a new laptop. I can’t turn it on. The curse continues.