You’re talking to a guy- not just any guy. A cute one. He’s like the plaid wearing, clean shaven, beautiful eyed kind of guy you see in those cheesy werewolf romance novels (uhh not that you read those…) So when you get an invite to go try out that new Mexican place down the street, it doesn't even matter that burritos give you hives. Of course you’ll go.
Everything is going great, perfect even. He’s sweet, charming, and seems to really understand you. After your cheesy date (six cheese tacos to be exact) you’re invited back to his room to hang out and catch up on some Gossip Girl episodes, which he admits that he loves. Once you two are snuggled up on his less than comfy beer stained couch, he’s suddenly pulling all the moves on you to start getting physical. But you know your comfort level, you won’t give anything up that quickly. You pull away and say you have to go back home, economics homework awaits!
Unfortunately, your mild mannered and funny date suddenly turns into an angry pug looking beast. Not so cute anymore, huh? Instead of his usual compliments and sweet talk, what comes out of his mouth is the exact opposite of what you wanted to hear.
“Tease!”
Most girls are terrified of the dreaded “slut shaming” dished out if people think they are being too physical too fast. So, of course, there is a route in which girls lead boys on a little more of a chase, just to make sure they’re genuine and for real.
It’s called playing hard to get. When you don’t give your man exactly what he wants when he wants it in order to earn a little respect from him. Instead of a kiss, give him a hug. Instead of clinging to his arm, you give him some space. Small things that girls and sometimes even guys do to make sure the relationship is moving at a healthy pace before things get too serious.
Although the term states so, a lot of girls know that there’s no “playing” involved with this. If a girl doesn’t want to become physical with a guy even after insinuating that obviously there is an interest, it’s because she’s taking it slowly. But a lot of times, that can quickly result in a swift fatal “tease” stamp.
Not only is this degrading in the moment, but it becomes a learned behavior in the long run. After fearing the dreaded stamp, a girl is more likely to be pressured to move faster than she wanted to. It becomes the “norm” to jump quickly into that stage with a guy, so much so that girls don’t even notice it’s happening anymore.
It’s time to stop living in fear of being tagged as the “wrong kind of girl” in society. These days contradictions are plastered everywhere for girls. There’s so much pressure to be the impossible perfect balance of everything. It’s like going through life walking on egg shells, one misstep and crack.
Live your life without analyzing every move you make in order to make sure everyone else approves. In order for you to do this you have to follow your gut. You know what you’re comfortable with, and who you are as a person. That’s all that matters.
However you want to handle what you do within a relationship, you should be at ease with your choices and decisions. Respect yourself by your own standards, and remember how important it is to never let a harsh name or label bring you down.
Next time you’re hit with the “tease” stamp, stand up for yourself, lift your chin, and say:
“I am a lady!”
That’ll leave 'em wanting more.
