Playing Hard To Get, or Just Hard To Get?

Playing Hard To Get, or Just Hard To Get?

If someone is genuine and wish for their embrace, show them your heart.

Playing hard to get is quite the tricky dating tactic, but nonetheless, one our generation dabbles in. You’re interested, occasionally, available, sometimes, but yet always intriguing. Does it really work? Are you playing hard to get, or are you just hard to get? Here’s what I think, you’re just hard to get. Playing hard to get never works, but rather is a distraction from the relationship you desire. You’re wasting time playing games with people who are 1) interested in nothing more than your mystique and 2) not worth your time. Playing hard to get makes you mysterious for a little while, until you finally think they're worthy enough to have your heart, and suddenly you're left vulnerable, transparent, and no longer interesting. So it’s simple, if you find yourself having to play hard to get, save yourself the hard part and get far away.

I understand why you play hard to get, let's face it, most people do. It's near impossible to wear your heart on your sleeve in a world constantly rejecting your imperfections. Contrary to popular belief, hiding your heart will not detract from disappointment, or find you the relationship you desire. For it is when we show our true self to others, and only then, that we receive our most intense love from the most permanent people stemming from understanding, and acceptance. Authentic love, in which you will be loved wholly and unconditionally—for the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.

If someone is genuine and wish for their embrace, show them your heart. Put yourself out there amidst the consequences. Because for someone is to be infatuated with you due to your essence of mystery, they aren't seeing you inside-out. They don’t know, nor care, for your heart. And well, a relationship without heart is nothing more than dreadful heartache.

Cover Image Credit: Me, Myself, & I

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Just Because I Check My Boyfriend's Location Every Hour Doesn't Make Me A 'Psycho Girlfriend'

No, checking his location every hour does not make me psycho.

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. He has come up with describing my actions sometimes as “psycho girlfriend.” As much as this bothered me at first I started to realize there is nothing wrong with my “psycho” actions.

I don’t monitor who my boyfriend hangs out with and I don’t care who he texts, I trust him, but I do watch other things he does.

I probably check his location about once an hour, maybe more if he isn’t texting me back.

This isn’t some way for me to find out if he is with another girl, it’s so I can ensure he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. If he was on Snapchat five minutes ago but hasn’t texted me back in 45 minutes, yeah I’ll call him out on it but I'm not actually mad. If he is with friends and not answering me, it’s cool. I just want to be able to make sure I know where he is and that he is alive on a regular basis.

I make him keep his read receipts on for me.

I don’t care if he leaves me on read, I just need to know he is seeing what I’m saying. Half the time, I text him random facts or thoughts I have throughout my day, those don’t always need a response back. However, I do want to know he is acknowledging me through reading my texts.

Yes, from time to time I will spam him and make him respond to my messages so we can make plans or I can know what he is doing with his day but it’s not like I plan out his every move for him or care if he is getting drunk with the boys on a Wednesday, not my issue.

I don’t ask for all of his time or anything. I know he is a busy person. All I ask for him to text me back on a regular basis (once an hour to be exact), for him to allow for me to know where he is at all times and to get one night a week with him.

I don’t plan to show up where he is or anything, I simply just like to know information and get a weekly time with him. I don’t care if I only see him that one night a week, I just want one night with a movie or dinner or snuggles so I can get my boyfriend time.

The rest of the time he is his own person, and I couldn’t really care less about what he does in that time.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Wilkowski

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Love Hurts When You Date The Wrong Person But Never Give Up On Love

Love can hurt when you aren't dating the right person for you, but that doesn't mean you should give up on love.

Many of our elders including parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles, like to think that love during the teenage/young adult years (15-22) is nothing but "puppy love."

For some, this may be true but for others (including myself) I have found that relationships during this time can be an emotional roller-coaster that ultimately affects your life and your decisions.

My roller-coaster started when I was just a sophomore in high school. I have always deemed myself to be a bright individual with lots of personalities but for some reason, I enjoyed dipping my feet in the pond of bad boys.

I started dating a high-school dropout who I eventually dated for about 2 years with one of those years being behind my parents back.

I swore with every inch of my heart that this person was going to be my person for the rest of my life and I would have done anything to keep the "love" alive.

Of course, all of my friends, family, and loved ones thought I was absolutely insane for dating someone who was not only a high-school dropout but also a person (who lived in my neighborhood) who would often neglect to text me, call me, or hang out with me for weeks at a time while we were dating.

And, of course, I made up every excuse in the book as to why he acted this way.

I never saw with my own eyes how he completely failed to be attentive to me in every aspect of my life until about two years into the relationship. At this time I was not only at my breaking point but, I found myself with zero self-esteem, confidence, or motivation. My young mind had manipulated itself into thinking there was something wrong with me physically and mentally.

I had lost about 15-20 pounds because of this demoralizing mindset I was in.

Friends, family, my softball coach, parents of people who I played softball with or against started to notice my gauntness and asked me or my parents if I was okay or needed any help which was often times very embarrassing for me.

Simultaneously as my feelings for this boy were exponentially fading I met another boy (who graduated high school and attempted to go to college) who seemed to be everything I had not had for the past two years of my life.

In the first couple months of the relationship, everything was peaches and roses.

I had finally gained my confidence, self-esteem, and a little bit of weight back.

I had already known what college I was going to be attending when we began dating because I had committed to a University the year prior to playing softball.

Therefore, he also had previous knowledge of this, but when the summer started rolling in and conversations about long distance commenced so did the fights and arguments.

Since he had already gone away to college and experienced the type of atmosphere I was soon going to be indulging myself in, he knew everything that I would be exposed to, and it began eating him alive.

This fear of me going away turned into accusations of cheating, arguments about things that didn't even matter or make sense, and holes being punched in doors and walls.

Instead of evacuating myself from the relationship I turned into someone who didn't have my own thoughts or feelings because I was scared they would make my partner upset.

I turned into a robotic girlfriend walking on eggshells so that nothing I could have said, wore, or did could upset my "other half."

I escaped this relationship when I finally went to college and realized I no longer needed to put up with that type of behavior.

From that point on I built the Wall of China over my heart and boys became nothing but objects to me.

I was completely satisfied with being on my own and actually started to prefer it.

After about a year of being this way and not letting a single male even chip a piece of my bricked wall, I met Javier.

I could tell Javier was different from your typical dude, but I still would not allow myself to even remotely open up to him.

Instead, I took route friend zone and was entirely content with being one of the bros, growing up with a brother five years older than I, had molded me to be more like a bro anyway.

However, Javier had interest in me being way more than just that and I could see it, but never acknowledged it.

After four or five months of hanging out and Javier still never even bringing up the fact that he was more than just interested in me, and ever try to make a move on me, I started to think "Wow I've never met a guy so respectful and thoughtful as to not even care to make a move, but rather just happy to be in my presence."

A couple weeks after, thoughts like these started to develop, so did my feelings for Javier.

I have never met someone who listens, communicates, and endlessly tries to ensure that I am radiating with love and happiness at all times.

I have never met someone who would go to the end of time to guarantee that my life is made easier in every way.

I have never met someone that is so mindful of the way I may feel about their actions and words.

I have never met someone that communicates so deliberately that it makes it impossible to have an argument.

I have never met someone like my true love, Javier.

So, no matter how many times you try and fail:

pick yourself up,

learn from your mistakes,

NEVER give up on love,

and you too, will find your Javier.

Cover Image Credit: Brooke Stiles

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