"So, where are y'all headed for spring break?"

It's been a nanosecond since I've asked the question in the crowded cafeteria, and all of a sudden I'm bombarded with responses from not just from my friends, but virtual strangers.

"I'm headed to New Orleans!"

"Canada, here!"

"Going to spend time with my family up in Ohio."

"Maybe spend some time in Paris, and then head to Belgium..."

You get the picture. (Rich college kids, amirite?)

From hearing all of these enthusiastic responses, I was able to sum up the three most popular places to spend spring break as recounted by my fellow college students. So, without further ado, here they are! (You have been warned.)

1. HOME. (Remember what that was?)

Pros: Free lodging and your mom's delicious home-cooked food. You get to see your old high school buddies and visit old haunts. And, most importantly, you get to see your parents!!

Cons: With old high school buddies comes old high school drama and the like. I'm from Orlando, but maybe you're from Nowhere, USA. What the hell am I supposed to do for a whole week? And, most importantly, you get to see your parents...

2. Anywhere in Florida, USA

As someone who's actually from Orlando (and understands its beauty besides Disney), hearing this from those pesky Northerners always gets old.

"SPRING BREAK, BABY!"

"I'm headed to Daytona with the girls!"

"Miamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

"My boyfriend and I are headed to Disney World. Can't wait!"

Well, it's good and fine that y'all wanna head over. But seriously? Winter Park has a gorgeous historical area, and Dr. Phillips has a great performing arts center. Try something new for a change, instead of submitting yourself to the overwhelming pull of Florida's tourism and commercialism industries. Who knows? You might just be surprised about how much fun you'll have!

3. Somewhere out of the country. (A posh place, obvs.)

You've always got those people. You see them in college all the time: Burberry rain coat, Gucci shoes, Michael Kors shades, and a trenta-sized Starbucks latte. Behold: the face of privilege.*

"Oh, I'm just going to drop by Switzerland and visit my pen pal, you know how it goes."

"My father has a time-share in Costa Rica, so we're going to head there."

"We were really torn between Jamaica or Mexico, but we got a last-minute set of first class tickets to Brazil, so I guess we'll just go there."

It's always interesting to see who goes where. To such people, I wish you many a meal, a shopping spree, and a vaccine--you don't know what lurks in those Costa Rican waters.

Either way, I hope y'all have a great spring break! I know I did. Stay safe, stay full, and stay satirical. (I know I will!)


*I'm just messing with y'all. I hope you guys enjoy your trips!