Connecting To People Beats Connecting To Instagram

Losing The 'We Need A Photo' Mentality Greatly Improved My Friendships

The best friends are the ones who make you forget to look at your phone.

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About 4 years ago, my friend group from high school gave out superlatives to each other, and I was voted the "we need a photo" friend.

I made sure to get selfies, group pics and candids with my friends every time we got together. I spent more time taking pictures than I did actually enjoying spending time with them.

After reflecting on my compulsive picture-taking, I realized this was because I was trying to impress people that followed me on social media.

I didn't have many friends growing up, and I wanted to make up for it. I was super jealous of the popular kids who had hundreds of pictures of their friends on social media. I wanted to be just like them. I was trying to prove myself to people that literally couldn't care less. I continuously filled my social media with pictures of my hangouts with my friends. I wasn't truly connecting with them because I was too busy obsessing over revamping my social media to reflect my "social butterfly" persona

I tried to keep up the habit of documenting every moment I spent with friends when I started college, but I found myself shedding my "we need a photo" mentality as I formed more meaningful friendships.

After bonding with my college friends (who I know will be my best friends for life), I realized I hardly ever touched my phone when I spent time with them.

That's because I didn't want to touch my phone. I just wanted to enjoy their company.

Most of my memories with my friends that involved taking lots of pictures are pretty fuzzy in my brain. I don't remember much about the who, what, where, when and why of our get-togethers, so I rely on pictures to jog my memory.

However, my most vivid memories with my friends are the ones where my phone was out of sight and out of mind.

For example, on July 24, 2016, I spent the day with my best friend.

It was cloudy but not raining, and the temperature was decent.

She was wearing a navy blue button-down shirt, a pink and orange scarf and hoop earrings. I was wearing an olive green shirt and black Nike shorts.

We spent the first half of our hangout in her room doing laundry and applying to the same job at Buffalo Wild Wings while jamming out to R&B.;

After applying to jobs, we had a heart-to-heart with her mom (who is basically my second mom) who was wearing a grey t-shirt and a scarf on her head.

After that, we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. I got my usual boneless wings with medium sauce, and she got lemon pepper and garlic wings.

I was able to remember all of that with no camera in sight because I was focused on her instead of Instagram.

When I stopped connecting with my followers and started connecting with my friends, I noticed I was much happier.

My relationships became much more satisfying, I was having more meaningful conversations with people, and I didn't feel so isolated anymore.


I now realize I was the one holding me back. I chose to look into a camera lens rather than looking into my loved one's eyes.

Social media definitely has its perks, but don't let it hinder your relationships.

Human relationships are the most valuable things we have, and no amount of Instagram followers can change that.

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It Is OK To Have Guy Friends That Are Literally Just Guy Friends

Some of my best friends are guys and sometimes they are better friends than girls are.

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Lately, I have come to the realization that some of my guy friends are better then some girls I call my "friends". Ever since middle school, I have always had many guy friends that have always been just guy friends, and nothing more. Some girls had a problem with it back then and they still do now, maybe because they are jealous, or maybe because they feel left out. However, I decided a long time ago to keep those guy friends for reasons like...

1. They Don't Take Things So Seriously

You can always joke around with them, and they will joke around with you right back. You can be as nice as you want or as mean as you want to them, and they will always take it as joke. I think that sometimes girls have a difficult time deciphering between when you are being serious or when you are joking. Most of my guys friends tend to not things too seriously at least 75% of the time.

2. They Are Always Honest

When I need a blatantly honest opinion I always ask my guy friends (and my mom). I do this because guys do not really care about whether or not their response will make you mad. Also, guys do not think about if their answer will benefit them personally or not before they answer.

3. They Genuinely Listen To You

Not all the time. But when I am upset, they are always the ones most concerned. Some of my guy friends take over the "big brother" role when it comes to some situations. My guy friends always listen to my problems or just the same old rants I give all the time because if something is wrong, or something has hurt me, they want to know, in order for them to try and fix it.

I am not trying to say that my girl friends are not my best friends either, and I really do have the best best friend. But sometimes, it just feels good to hangout with my guy friends. Guy friends, that I have never had a romantic relationship or feelings for and they have not had for me. These guys have always been there, and for that I am grateful.

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15 Underrated Instagram Girl Bosses That Keep It Real

Instagram is nothing more than a highlight reel.

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In today's society, most girls get on Instagram and scroll, while wishing they could "look like them" or "be as skinny as them," not realizing that Instagram is nothing more than a highlight reel, showing the best moments in someone's day or life. Over the past couple of years, I've sifted through all the Instagram bloggers and found the ones that aren't afraid keep it ~real~.

If you want some realness on your Instagram, follow these 15 girl bosses. You won't regret it.

1. Ashley TerKeurst Hodges

https://www.instagram.com/ashleyterk/

Instagram: @ashleyterk

I've been following Ashley for about a year now, and I've loved seeing her family grow. Ashley is passionate about her faith and family, and I love seeing her passion.

2. Karlie Rae Lang

https://www.instagram.com/karlierae/

Instagram: @karlierae

This new mama isn't afraid to show the real side of life and motherhood, along with the beautiful side as well.

3. Mattie Gresham

https://www.instagram.com/mattigresham/

Instagram: @mattigresham

I look forward to watching Matti's story every day because of the real-life stories she shares. I laugh for days when watching.

4. Madison Nelson

https://www.instagram.com/heymadinelson/

Instagram: @heymadinelson

This southern gal is one of my top favorites when it comes to keeping it real. She also has the cutest little growing family, which is a plus.

5. Bre Sheppard

https://www.instagram.com/bresheppard/

Instagram: @bresheppard

The beauty behind the movement #boycottboringnails, and the cutest little girl boss. Bre is one of the first bloggers I followed and I've been a loyal follower ever since.

6. Kathleen Post

https://www.instagram.com/kathleen.post/

Instagram: @kathleen.post

Kathleen is truly a ray of sunshine. She always has a smile on her face, and she brightens up my day every time I watch her stories.

7. Heather Brown

https://www.instagram.com/mylifewellloved/

Instagram: @mylifewellloved

Heather is an Alabama-native, so I may be a little biased, but she's the cutest little mama, and fitness instructor.

8. Emily

https://www.instagram.com/joyfulcrew/

Instagram: @joyfulcrew

I love watching Emily's stories because

1) She lives in japan, which is so cool and

2) Her stories are ALWAYS real.

She's not afraid to show the moments where she hides in a closet to get a break from her kids, and I admire that.

9. Annie Pearce

https://www.instagram.com/anniesforgetmeknots/

Instagram: @anniesforgetmeknots

I've followed Annie for several years now. I love watching her hair tutorials, her videos of her cute kids, and her super satisfying cleaning time-lapses.

10. Mary Margaret

https://www.instagram.com/simply_darlings/

Instagram: @simply_darlings

This new, southern mama/nurse has the absolute cutest style and cutest little family.

11. Rachel Timmerman

https://www.instagram.com/racheltimmerman/

Instagram: @racheltimmerman

Her and her daughter are the cutest little mother-daughter duo, and they always have the cutest matching outfits.

12. Bailey Hawkins

https://www.instagram.com/baileyannhawkins/

Instagram: @baileyannhawkins

Bailey is the sweetest soul, and she's always sharing loads of encouragement on her stories and feed. Although I don't know her on a personal level, she always replies to any message that I send her, and is constantly asking how she can pray for her followers.

13. Danielle Carolan

https://www.instagram.com/daniellecarolan/

Instagram: @daniellecarolan

Danielle is such a relatable college student, but I dream of being able to travel as much as she does. Not going to lie, I vicariously live through her stories when she's traveling.

14. Jess Fay

https://www.instagram.com/lipstickheelsandababy/

Instagram: @lipstickheelsandababy

The sweetest little beach mama, with the sweetest family and the founder of the cutest business, 30A Babe.

15. Shannon Peterson

https://www.instagram.com/shynnz/

Instagram: @shynnz

This mama openly shares her struggles of infertility, while sharing her life of raising 2 boys, and expecting another baby soon.

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