25 Petty Clapbacks To Win Your Next Argument
Start writing a post
Humor

25 Satisfyingly Petty Clapbacks When Someone Is Testing Your Patience

Are you a math test? Because we're not adding up together, and it's testing my patience.

2772
25 Satisfyingly Petty Clapbacks When Someone Is Testing Your Patience

We all have that one person who tests our patience to the point that we can't help but be childish and petty — the person who never chews with their mouth shut and can be heard eating across the room, the person who couldn't say the word "intelligent" — let alone be intelligent — and the person who is just plain annoying.

Here are the 25 pettiest things to say when that person is testing your patience.

"Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither."

Some say that opinions are like farts. Just because you have one, that doesn't mean you need to let it out!

"Someday you’ll go far... and I really hope you stay there."

It sounds encouraging at first anyway.

"Sometimes, it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid than open it and remove all doubt."

In this case, the person will probably be too stupid to understand what you've just said.

"You only annoy me when you’re breathing."

... which is all the time.

"Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself."

It's a bad idea in your case.

"Please, save your breath. I don’t know whether to give you a mint or some toilet paper."

Perfect for the person with a potty mouth.

"Good story, but in what chapter does your character stop talking?"

Can we please just skip to that chapter?

"Sorry, I didn’t get that. I don’t speak stupid fluently."

If stupid isn't a language, you've turned it into one.

"If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet."

Probably happy enough to not be insulted by that statement.

"Are you always such an idiot, or do you only show off when I’m around?"

I'd love to believe that I'm that special, but I doubt it.

"There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that."

At least you're thanking them for something.

"I was hoping for a battle of wits, but it would be wrong to attack someone who’s completely unarmed."

Oops, I guess I already started attacking.

"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."

...far, far away from me!

"Everyone’s entitled to act stupid occasionally, but you abuse the privilege."

Don't try to abuse the privilege and act like you can't comprehend what I just said.

"The village called. They want their idiot back, so you'd better get going."

At least you're needed somewhere!

"Do everyone a favor and exercise your right to remain silent. Whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway."

No, you don't exercise it on a treadmill.

"I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see that you’ve already got one."

Are you really that ugly, or does your personality show through that much?

"You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle."

Go ahead. I'll give you time to think about that one.

"It’s amusing to watch you try to put your entire vocabulary into one sentence."

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and spit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.

"Are you a math test? Because we’re not adding up together, and it’s testing my patience."

Maybe if you subtract yourself from the equation, I could figure things out.

"You always bring me so much joy... as soon as you leave the room."

It's a good thing to spread happiness and joy — hint, hint.

"Brains aren’t everything. In your case, they’re nothing."

Hopefully, you can remember that.

"The reason you’re lost in thought is that it's unfamiliar territory."

I'd be lost too if I had your brain.

"At least your ego is higher than your IQ."

If you really spoke your mind, you'd be speechless.

"Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people."

Don't like my sarcasm? I don't like your stupidity.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

Maybe don't try them all in one day...

72
21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

My 21st birthday is finally almost here. In honor of finally turning 21, I thought I'd share 21 fun drinks since it's finally legal for me to drink them.

Some of these drinks are basic, but some of them are a little more interesting. I thought they all looked pretty good and worth trying, so choose your favorites to enjoy at your big birthday bash!

Keep Reading...Show less
Politics

Ancient Roman Kings: 7 Leaders of Early Rome

The names and dates of the reigns of the first four kings, as well as the alternation of Sabin and Latin names, are more legendary than historical. The last three kings, of Etruscan origin, have an existence which seems less uncertain.

1839
inside ancient roman building
Photo by Chad Greiter on Unsplash

It is evident that all this is only a legend although archeology shows us little by little that these kings if they did not exist as the ancient history, describes them, have at least in the very Outlines were real as chief of a shepherd’s tribe. The period when kings ruled Rome could estimate at 245 years.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Love Lost

Being the girl that is falling for the boy is never easy.

2648
Love Lost
Pexels

You constantly text my phone telling me that you want to see me and hang out, even though we may not have sex we cuddle and that’s intimacy in its own. I’m tired of buying you food and being there for you like a girlfriend when you consistently tell me you aren't ready for a girlfriend. I am constantly feeling I’m getting slapped in the face because I’m doing all these things and getting nothing in return. Every day I feel myself liking you more which is just crazy because why would I even waste my time liking someone there isn’t a future with. I just want you to be honest with me and with yourself, tell me how you feel from your heart, stop just saying you aren’t ready. You are wasting time telling me you aren’t ready because while you are “getting ready” some guy somewhere else is telling me that he likes me and thinks I’m beautiful and wants to date me. I’m not asking for much, but I at least want exclusivity because you ask me for all these things but in return you give me nothing.

Keep Reading...Show less
Pretty Little Liars

From reading the books in eighth grade to watching the television show all throughout high school, "Pretty Little Liars"basically defined my teenage existence. I was completely and totally obsessed on all accounts. However, even though I loved the fact that the books and the show are starkly different, there are simply just some ways in which the books are much better. Let's take a look:

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

To The Girl In The Back Row

I just want you to know you are loved. You are loved so very much.

2591
To The Girl In The Back Row
Sojo.net

Recently I was blessed to be a counselor at a wonderful camp, secluded in a cornfield somewhere in Virginia. I consider myself to be a seasoned camp counselor, as I have not only been a camper for most of my life but have been privileged enough to work multiple camps with all kinds of different facilities. I have worked camps with multi-thousand dollar facilities, with zip lines, rock walls, ropes courses, and boats. I have worked at camps with amazing water sports, camps with paintball, camps with canoes and paddle boats and floating blobs or trampolines in the middle of the water. I have worked at camps with in ground pools and camps without any pools, and even some camps with go-karts. I've had problem kids, kids who refuse to listen to anything I say, kids who sneak out after lights out to meet a significant other, and kids who are every camp counselors dream.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments