It is said that people never change, and you have proven that statement to be correct. Throughout the past year, I have lost any connection with you. It feels like you are not even a sibling of mine anymore. When you're wondering why I do not care to talk to you anymore, or don't have a relationship with you, you should think about me and what you have done, instead of how you are being "hurt."

You have always had a problem with alcohol and drugs, but it has gotten increasingly worse since you moved back into our home. You are no longer my older brother who I used to love seeing. You are now my older brother who I cannot stand being around.

I have both witnessed and been a part of many situations where you were under the influence.

I will never forget Christmas Eve a few years back. Mom and I were wrapping Christmas gifts, and you barged into the house. You had a lot of alcohol in your system; it was obvious by the way you looked. I was sitting on the kitchen counter when you decided to start taking your aggravation out on me.

You kept getting closer to me, and I had a strong feeling that you were going to come after me - I could see the rage in your eyes. You ended up falling asleep, and the next day you brought me a gift. A gift you only gave me trying to apologize for something you had done.

Even though you could not even remember one word you had said to me. I still have that gift from you in my bedroom; but instead of seeing it as a great gift, I see it as a memory of Christmas Eve when I felt incredibly threatened by you.

Since you moved back, many similar situations have occurred, and I'm sure they will continue to. You're predictable. But the scenarios have begun to include more people than just Mom and I. You've spread anger and hatred to other family members as well. One thing that I cannot seem to get out of my mind is the way you acted during the day of our grandmother's birthday party.

Our entire family, along with some friends, were over to have a nice celebration; however, you clearly had other plans for the night. You quickly became intoxicated, and everybody could tell. The night began with you constantly coming up to me and pushing my head. I do not know what possessed you to feel the need to behave in that manner at 41 years of age.

I told you to stop and leave me alone, and then you started to yell at me for not letting you love me. The night ended up getting progressively worse. During dinner, you poured alcohol into everybody's cups, said things that did not make sense, and made fun of everybody at the table. Eventually, people started to leave because of the way you were acting.

A memory that will forever stay with me was when I was home alone one night, and you decided to show up to the house, late at night, simply to try and terrorize me. It hurts my feelings so much that you went out of our way to come to the house, because you knew I was home alone and it was a perfect opportunity to try to ruin my night and scare me.

I went to the front door to let the dogs outside, once I started to open the curtains I could see you standing at the door. You had your white, ripped wife-beater on, your hair was everywhere, your pants were unbuttoned, and your zipper was undone. I said hello and then you began to yell at me.

The first thing you said was "What is your problem with me?" Then it went onto "What are your issues with me?" I could see that you were incredibly drunk. I told you that you were drunk, and that you needed to leave. Once I nicely asked you to leave, you started to yell once again.

You started with; I will never forget this moment, then you continued with saying f*ck you, and then finished it off with a loud go f*ck yourself. You then walked away, pulled your pants down, and started to pee in the front lawn. I went to bed shaking, because I thought you were going to show up once again and try to break into the house.

I have dealt with your alcoholism, and drug problems for probably most of my life. But since I have gotten older, it is harder to deal with because now I can fully understand what is going on. You have gotten in trouble with the law so many times, and almost ruined many relationships between our family.

Even after these things, you do not stop, you just stay the same, or get worse. Even if you do not remember things that you have done, everybody else remembers them, and will never forget them.

I look back at photographs of you and I, and I wonder where everything went wrong. Was there a certain day where your whole life changed or was it an event that caused you to change so much. It is so hard to see somebody that I once looked up to, slowly crumble away. Instead of my brother, you are now just somebody that I used to know.