"One day, each of you will have a realization; it will come after extreme hardship, heartbreak or disappointment. When that day comes, you will be hopeless, helpless. You will be left on your knees without the promise of another day. There will be absolutely nothing left for you to cling to other than the strength of God."
I attended religious education courses every Wednesday night from early elementary school to late high school. We studied the Word of God, completed worksheets, prayed as a group, but no assignment or class ever stuck with me so much as the aforementioned quote. It came during one of my final years in classes when many students' eyes were glazed with boredom. The teacher may not have caught the attention of others in the class by saying this, but it sure stuck with me.
I never understood what my teacher meant by this because I never really knew what it felt like to be alone. I was surrounded by strong parents, a supporting circle of family and friends. I never thought I would be pushed to the point of such desperation and depression that I would consciously seclude myself from everyone important to me.
And then it happened.
It was not one event that pushed me over the edge, but rather, a collection of events that piled up until I just collapsed. And honestly, I did find myself on my knees begging for a purpose. It would've been easy for me to look at all of my hardships and draw from that the conclusion that God isn't real. It would've been easy for me to sit back and say, "If God was real, He wouldn't let this happen to anyone. He should've been looking out for me."
But I didn't. Yes, I was angry at first. I was angry for how hopeless I was feeling in my current situation, but it was here when I remembered this quote from my religious education teacher from a few short four years ago. Instead of being angry, I needed to turn those hostile emotions into those of love and trust. It was then that I recognized what he really meant by placing myself fully in the hands of God.
It took me longer than I'd like to admit to reach this point in my life -- the point where I would be able to fully and truly believe in the strength of God's plan. The only thing that matters, however, is that I understand now. I knew the decision to follow God had to be my own; I appreciated the way I was raised, but to continue living in His ways, I needed it to be personal. And because of the sufferings I'd endured, I was finally able to understand.
So yes, Mr. G. I didn't understand what it meant back when I was 16. I know we all just rolled our eyes at you and sat with blank stares as you continued your lecture about who-knows-what. I know I'll have countless more obstacles to face in the years to come that will likely continue to increase in severity with each passing year, but I know that God will be with me every step of the way. I know that He already has my life planned out for me, and He will never place any hardship in my life that I cannot handle. I need to remember that sometimes our life doesn't go according to our plan because God is preparing us for something better.
We're made in His perfect form. We're individually crafted to be our absolute best selves. We're made in His undying and forgiving love. And if we're good enough for Him, we should be good enough for ourselves as well.
When life doesn't seem to be going right, remember you will always have God to hold on to. He will always be watching over you, paving the path for your purposed life. The following are a few of my favorite verses to keep in mind when you need a reminder to trust in His plan.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. [Psalm 23:6]
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid. [John 14:27]
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make straight your paths. [Proverbs 3:5-6]
The Lord your God will fight for you, and you need only be still. [Exodus 14:14]
And my all-time personal favorite:
I have told you these things, so that in me, you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. [John 16:33]
