When I was younger I had a hard time sitting through a whole movie or reading a whole book. I was that person asking a million questions about the outcome before it ever got to the plot or skipping through chapters to get to the end. I didn't have the patience to wait it out and hope for the best.
That mindset has definitely followed me as I've grown into a young adult. I find myself constantly worrying about things and forming more chaos than what is actually there. I am always seeing half of things, not knowing the outcome, and forcing endings only to wonder why there isn't a happy ending at the end. I really hate waiting for the end of movies or reading the whole book.
It has taken me many, many years to realize I am not in control of everything and no matter how much I would like to be, it won't ever happen. I'm so thankful to have a God that sees my struggle with patience and tries to calm me in my storm of worry. A lot of times I am discouraged by living in the unknown I no longer see the potential in things working out to my favor. I see what something should be and focus way too much on the impossible.
Truth is, I will never feel like I am OK with waiting. I will never feel OK with hoping for the best and letting my life run it's course. I will never have that part of OCD taken from me or completely calmed. I will always have a sense of worry for the future and that is fine. It's OK because God doesn't work that way.
When God took me in, he knew my shortcomings and struggles. He also knew my potential and expectations. God knows I'm not ready to give up full control. He knows He is in control anyway. God knows that He can get me ready to trust one hundred percent. I know many of you struggle with trusting God to work through the middle of your story to make a great ending.
The purpose is that sometimes the process doesn't look like the ending. Sometimes it's easy to be discouraged by the chapter you are given at the moment. Sometimes it's hard to see that the chapter you are in isn't the end and that God has many more for us. That not every chapter can be the best one we read.
I know there is struggle in getting through the hard chapters and trusting God that there is a happy ending for us all, but always remember God is always working on our provision and that we can't always skip through the movie or flip through the pages. Don't force chapters to happen or characters to stay. God is writing your story and if it's not a happy ending, it's not the end. Stay patient.
