We live our lives day by day, pair of pants by pair of pants.* But deep down, all of us know that we don't really need pants in so many situations. That's why I'm here--I'm going to help you figure out the situations in which you need to wear pants, and the times when you should chuck your pants into the air like it's Breaking Bad.

*For the purposes of this article, skirts are pants.

1. The Doctor's Office

Doctors, and all those working in the healthcare profession, deserve utmost respect for the incredibly hard work they do. You might think this means you should wear pants as a courtesy. Not so-- eventually every doctor needs you to take your pants off, and you've wasted their time if you wear them in the first place. If you've ever hated how long hospital waiting rooms last, even emergency rooms, just look down. If you're wearing pants, you are part of the problem.

Pants? No Pants!

2. Time Alone --Weekday

A tricky one. On the one hand, there's nothing more satisfying after a long day of school or work than stripping of your pants, throwing them at the wall and lounging around pantsless. But then where are you? Pantsless, in the middle of your living room, probably about to cook dinner and eat, maybe with a roommate around who's judging your stoicism for needing to go pantsless so desperately quickly. It's a trap, I tell ya. Instead, wait a couple of hours, until just an hour before going to sleep. Go pantsless then, as the cherry on top of your day.

Pants? Pants, until near you go to sleep.

3. Time Alone -- Weekend

Get them suckers off you, it's the weekend my glip-glops!

Pants? NO PANTS! WOO!

4. Meeting With a Professor

Now we venture into more interesting territory. I see arguments for both sides here. On the pants side, professors are notoriously dirty, disease-riddled creatures. Pants could help prevent catching illness from them. In addition, you may wish to keep pepper-spray or another defensive weapon near you, in which case pockets would be useful.

However, going pantsless might work as an intimidation tactic. If they are giving feedback on some of your work, a display of genital dominance might convince them to stay positive, or even improve your grade. Furthermore, it may stop them from going into an impromptu lecture on some tedious topic. This strategy is only likely to work if they are the same gender as you.

Pants? No Pants, only if you share a gender. Otherwise, Pants.

5.Sex

Without a doubt, you should be wearing pants when you have sex. The legacy of sexual liberation from past generations coupled with modern sexual inventions like Tinder together mean sex is more casual than ever. And would you take your pants off in front of a casual acquaintance? Of course not! Leave something to the imagination, honestly. I spent a lot of time thinking about this, and I couldn't come up with any good reason to take your pants off.

Pants? Pants, unless you're a pervert.

6. Going To Wegmans

You'll definitely want to be wearing pants for your Wegmans run. For some people, Wegmans is just too arousing to safely go pantsless. I'm not crazy for it like some, but I admit their stores have candy aisles as beautiful as Shangri La. You'll find yourself mighty embarrassed if you go into a Wegmans induced euphoria when you're not wearing pants. Alternatively, if you can't stand how crowded Wegmans is, with people who seem to have fallen in love with a glorified grocery store, you'll want pants to keep your bottom half from from bumping into one of the plebeians.

Pants? Pants

7. Going to a Concert

Depends entirely on the concert. At a music festival, or anything hip-hop or rock, you'll definitely want pants. There's going to be dancing, bopping, bouncing, and possibly mild jumping. If you don't secure your lower half, you're going to wobble home in pain. However, I think you'd be well served going pantsless at a classical concert. Audiophiles often say that you get the best acoustics when the sound waves can bounce off your fleshy thighs.

Pants? Pants for Bon Jovi, No Pants for Beethoven

8. Going Skinny Dipping

There's a distinction here we have to make between "could" and "should". I tried hard, but I couldn't think of a way in which one could qualify as pantsless while also qualifying as skinny dipping. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Don't let anyone tell you what's possible, not even me. George Bernard Shaw said "Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." One day someone will skinny dip while wearing pants--why not make it you?

Pants? Pants. Think Different.

9. Thanksgiving Dinner

I fully endorse going pantsless on Thanksgiving. Your extended family is going to be around, murdering you with endless questions about college, your job prospects, and everything you're using the holiday to try and briefly forget. But you love them, so once they ask, you're stuck trying to answer. So give them something better to talk about! No one asks a person who shows up half nude to Thanksgiving if they've gotten a job for after college. They already know the answer.

Pants? No Pants!

10. Church/Synagogue/Mosque/Temple

Of course you should wear pants. What the hell is wrong with you that I even need to say that?

Pants? Seriously, some people.