We get it, Pansexuality is a newer term that is similar to Bisexuality. Just like the rest of the LGBTQ+ community, Pansexuals don't escape the stereotypes and hurtful comments that get thrown our way. All of us just want to be treated like normal people. Just because we don't base our romantic feelings on gender that doesn't mean that we aren't normal. All we want is to be comfortable with ourselves and be out there with the rest of the world living our life. These are just a few comments that we are tired of hearing because there's a lot more where this came from.
1. "Are you attracted to kitchen pans?"
This is my favorite question. According to Dictionary.com, Pansexual is expressing or involving sexuality in all its forms, or sexual activity with people of any sexual orientation or gender identity. Does it say anywhere in the definition that we are attracted to pans? I don't think so. I love using my kitchen pans to cook something yummy for my fiance and I, but to kiss them, I think not.
2. "So you're engaged to a cisgender of the opposite sex, doesn't that make you straight?"
Man and Woman
Being Pansexual means that we could fall in love with anyone regardless of gender. There are times where we fall in love with a person because of their personality. Our relationship could happen to be with someone that gender identity matches their gender at birth. At the end of the day, it's none of y'all's business. We are just making the world happy for ourselves and for the person lucky enough to love us.
3. "Just say you're bisexual and stop making up words."
I wrote a whole article explaining the difference between pansexuality and bisexuality. Read You Must Be Confused If You Think Pansexuality And Bisexuality Are The Same and educate yourselves. There are legitimate differences between the two sexual orientations.
4. "So you're pansexual? Does that mean that you're in a multiple person relationship?"
To be in a multiple person relationship, all persons have to be in agreement. Otherwise a multi-person relationship is considered cheating. I don't judge people who are in a polyamorous relationship because that is none of my business. Just because we are pansexuals that doesn't mean that we like multiple people in our relationships. I am a serial monogamous person and I hate cheaters, but that doesn't mean that other relationships of the opposite nature are less valid because of their situation.
5. "You're pansexual but you're religious?"
I was led to believe that Jesus taught us to never judge and to love each other. I find that I am a better Catholic because of my pansexuality. I am supposed to love and not judge anyone. "He who is without sin may cast the first stone" is my favorite bible verse. There isn't a person in this world who hasn't committed one sin. People have repented but it isn't our job to judge. It's your god and my god's job to judge not us.
6. "You can't chose one side can you?"
I didn't choose your significant other, why should you tell me how to choose mine? This comment has been heard for both bisexuals and pansexuals because our inability to choose one gender. The difference between us is that I have more choices in significant others but that doesn't mean I want more than one.
Pansexuality is a valid sexual orientation just like the rest of the LGBTQ+ community. Ignorance can be corrected if you do your research. Pansexuals are normal humans but we truly love everyone. All of these phrases and questions are hurtful and can invalidate a person. We never aim to invalidate anyone because of the love that we have. We are the least likely to judge you. That's why pansexuals make the best friends and companions.