Everyone will have their reasons but it stands that, receiving things is really hard for some.
Let me clarify, receiving awards or prizes that are hard earned or are results from intentional actions are different. When someone sets out to specifically get something, it's not that hard to take it once it's in hands reach. But I'm talking about the most dramatic thing ever. Something that is so inherent in our systems to take but as we get older we begin to distance ourselves from taking. As if age curbs our desires, our itchy hands. I'm talking about birthday presents.
If you're the type of person that's found the secret to graciously accepting a gift without seeming like an entitled douche canoe, I salute you. However, the rest of us are suffering. At a young age it was easy to accept gifts with open arms, in fact, most kids plan large birthday parties thinking of the potential gifts. Of course, you want all your friends present, but you also were thinking about the gloriously wrapped surprises they would bring. Somewhere along the journey of getting older, as always, the anticipation and excitement for gifts are curbed and ruined. In my years of looking for explanations to this phenomenon I have come up with a few potential winners.
1. The $$ Bill Effect
Growing older isn't just the practice of baby fat slowly (and stubbornly) melting away and looking like an adult, it means being one. What this means is that your parents have stopped buying gifts in your name for your friends because you learned the actual value of a dollar. All those cool gifts you've gotten and want to get add up and can damage a wallet. But this time, the damage is done to your own wallet and that pain is felt a lot stronger than before. You know just how many hours of tireless labor went into every dollar that's slowly being drawn out of your bank account to buy things. Honestly, I'm shedding a few tears thinking about it.
2. Awkward Turtles EVERYWHERE
You know that feeling of never knowing what to do with your hands when walking? Ok, multiply that by a billion, that's how awkward it can be getting gifts. The awkward tension is palpable and weighs heavy on everyone's shoulders when a room is singing "Happy Birthday" out of sync. What is one to do? Woe is the center of attention being watched as they smile until their cheeks hurt because what else is there to do? It's not like we can jump in and turn the age-old song into a fun multi-part jam session, the birthday person is totally excluded from all of this. If you've found the secret to dealing with this please enlighten us all.
3. The Competition
Part of the problem with graciously accepting a gift is the crackling competition that ensues the generous thought. Many may play innocent but behind all the appreciation, are gears furiously grinding to think of a gift in return that will top the one you've gotten. Your friend/significant other/stranger/whoever it is has just proved themselves to be a fantastic gem of a person and in all their shining glory you've now become an ungrateful sack of doo-doo. While this person thought of and bought the perfect gift to embody your relationship to them you've been sitting on your butt appreciating nothing and no one. At least that's how someone ends up feeling after getting a gift. Your friend may have won the battle but are you going to just let them win the war?
4. The Disbelief
It's honestly hard to imagine what someone could possibly buy/make/plan as a gift. It may be easy to create lists of things you want for yourself but almost impossible when someone else is willing to get it. So to be receiving some type of tangible or intangible gift is just hard to receive because honestly there's nothing we want. The moment someone asks "what do you want for your *enter special event*" every materialistic thought capitalism shoved into my head goes flying out.
But in all honesty, all gifts are amazing because the thought that went behind them is mind blowing. The fact that time was taken out in someone's day to have one person in mind and their happiness is quite a lovely thing. Not being able to receive gifts shouldn't be seen as an ungrateful thing, it may stem from rather deeper self- esteem issues, but it's a matter of love. Personally, I think a person's love, whether it be platonic or romantic, is the best gift someone can give. I know, I know, cue the gags, but that's why it's hard for my mind to accept the fact that someone who is already giving me that wants to give more. Put aside all the funny factors and awkward behavior that may ensue, receiving a gift is somewhat a gift in itself, and sometimes gratitude is hard to put into words. All that being said, don't ask me what I want or look at me for my reaction when you give gifts because I'll be running for the hills.
