Pain is an all-too-familiar problem and the most common reason that people see a physician. According to the Institute on Medicine at least 100 million adults in the United States suffer from chronic pain, unfortunately I fall under this statistic.

We all experience aches and pains from time to time, but I never imagined that pain would take hold of my life. 7 years ago I was diagnosed with severe back pain, which gradually progressed through my entire body. What made me sad was not that I was in intense pain, it was that my world which was once buzzing with friends and family slowly began to shrink. None of my friends understood why I couldn’t attend their birthday parties or graduation events or something as simple as go out to lunch, please understand it’s not that I did not want to, in fact, I had promised them I would, but when the day came, I just couldn’t move.

It doesn’t mean I didn’t try, I tried very hard not to feel pain, to be normal, but one thing about chronic pain that makes it hard for “normal” people to understand is that wreaks havoc on the mind and the body. I was exhausted almost all the time until I learned how to accept myself.

Pain is an individuals’ experience, if I explained how I feel to you, you will probably sympathize with me, say sorry, suggest a cure (which I don’t need to thank you very much) and be on your way, but you will not feel the pain I am feeling. No persons experience is the same, and this is where therapy comes in. As a psychologist part of my job is to help people cope with their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and it took a long while before I applied what I said in therapy to my personal life experiences.

I should say my pain is no longer my enemy I have acknowledged and accepted that it may or may not go away and that’s okay (sometimes), I have accepted that sometimes I will not show up to birthdays and graduations and that’s okay too, if you don’t want to be my friend because of it then good riddens. If my pain tells me I need to sit down, lie down, not move or take my pills, then that is what I am going to do, I am not going to risk my sanity for anyone or anything.

Pain has now become my driving force. I’m hoping to work with more patients such as myself with chronic pain develop new ways of thinking about their pain, challenge their unhelpful thoughts and make lifestyle changes that will allow then to continue living a more fulfilling life even with pain.

: By Joyce Momanyi (Psychologist)