How To Recover When People Hurt You
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Mental Health

To Those Who Hurt Me, I Refuse To Stay Down, I Will Rise Again

Heartbreak is inevitable. Staying sad about it is not.

To Those Who Hurt Me, I Refuse To Stay Down, I Will Rise Again
Bridget Chagollan

People often tell you to "forgive and forget" if somebody wrongs you. I'm all about forgiveness, but I don't know if we should really just forget about it.

I have always found it healthy to really think about the things you struggle with rather than to push them away. In my opinion, this makes it much easier for you to cope and eventually get over whatever you may be dealing with. If you just ignore the problem once it arises, you will never be able to learn and grow from it.

Hardship and heartbreak are a part of life no matter who you are. What distinguishes the strong from the weak is how you respond to these troubling times.

Any of you who know me personally know that I have had my fair share of difficulty in my years here on this Earth. Most of this difficulty arose as a result of how people in my life were treating me or the people around me. For a long time, I let these experiences get the best of me- I lost trust in the people around me, I felt like I always got the short end of the stick, and I couldn't imagine what I did to deserve everything that happened to me. I was so bitter and angry because I felt like I always gave so much of myself and I still had to deal with all this crap from other people.

Some time in my mid-teens, my mindset changed. I realized that the way I was living was doing nothing except leaving me feeling miserable and alone. I began to let these experiences define me but in a different way than before. I realized that the fact that the fact that I was still standing here after going through everything in my past meant I was stronger than all of those things. I realized that the people who were hurting me were only doing so because they were unsatisfied with their own lives. How could I let these bitter people trick me into losing sight of how amazing and beautiful life is?

This new mindset began to shape me into the person I am now. In the last few years, I have learned what it truly means to forgive others, no matter what they've done to me. Yes, this is partly because forgiving people is simply the right thing to do. More than that, though, it's because I realized that I wouldn't be the me that I am today if I hadn't been hurt a few times here and there. If I could go back in time and relive my entire life, I wouldn't change a single bit of it. I know that I needed those experiences to grow into a version of me that I was truly happy with. Sure, it was awful to go through all these things. But it was all worth it to be able to live a life free from guilt and shame.

Experiencing large amounts of difficulty like this has allowed me to feel an extreme sense of accomplishment and bravery as well as find true joy in forgiving others. Now, I'm a firm believer that you can never be fully happy until you are able to forgive those who have done you dirty, no matter how dirty it might have gotten. I am also able to live my life having accepted the fact that people aren't always going to treat you how you deserve to be treated, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't still care for them. It all sounds crazy, but the happiness you feel once you learn these lessons and put them into practice is indescribable.

Without being mistreated, I wouldn't have the strong sense of self that I am lucky enough to have now.

So whether you've only mildly offended me or almost ruined my life. Whether you're a peer or an adult. Whether we haven't spoken in years or we talk every day. My message to all of you is the same:

Thank you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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