At first, it seems like some higher power or force of the universe has taken out all of their anger on you. You don't know why your leg bounces up and down, why your mind races or blanks, why you worry every time you send a risky text or whenever anyone just wants to "talk". No one acknowledges the terrible apathy that ebbs and flows with being so hyper-aware of everything constantly, or how anxiety can easily slip into depression and other mood-related matters.

I've dealt with anxiety for so long, it feels like a second skin.

I have social anxiety; when I'm with people, I'm worried about what I'm saying or doing, sometimes being in a large crowd of people feels like I'm being engulfed, it becomes hard to speak or hear and I sweat more than a dolphin in water.

I have test-anxiety – something I've battled with for years and only recently have I overcome through the help of teachers and professors dedicated to showing me just how intelligent and bright I am, and only to have the courage to believe in myself.

Don't get me wrong – I believe in myself. I'm confident in who I am and where I come from, although not all the time, and it's hard when doubt creeps in and makes me question everything.

During a test, no matter how hard I study or how well I know the content, the phrasing of a question or something in the room, or sometimes nothing discernible at all, can just leave my mind a blank slate.

Most people have these moments, but they're just that – a moment. Maybe skipping a section in the textbook or napping a little during a lecture (we've all been there), but I'm talking about a consistent form of anxiety that questions everything.

This is the type of anxiety that's given me insomnia. The stay up at night, take four or maybe ten milligrams of melatonin depending on how long you think it will take before your brain shuts off, recount every interaction, expect every disaster type of anxiety.

It's a piece of me that affects how I live, but slowly I've found ways to overcome it, and if not overcome it, coexist with it in a way that is healthy.

For one, I've begun trying to accept the futility of trying to control or know everything. It's impossible. It induces stress and anxiety that is unnecessary, driving me to nitpick the smallest of inconsistencies and demand perfection.

I've begun learning that perfection, no matter how pretty the idea is, is flawed and untrue. It's a construct. Everyone wants to get everything right on the first go or make the A+ worthy 100% achieving project, but it's unrealistic. It's okay to make mistakes, and it's especially okay to fail. Failure is learning, and learning is what will shape you and make you stronger.

Secondly, I have started to do what I love no matter the consequence and I have tried to spare myself the guilt of my own opinion or preference.

I am who I am. I have every right to be.

And I will not worry about not conforming to an ideal standard of beauty or intellect, stripping anxiety of the power to rule my life, no matter how much it likes to think it takes importance.

I deserve happiness, love, and everything under the sun, and no anxiety will hold me back from sharing my raw passion or convictions.

A note–

For people who have friends with anxiety that doesn't outwardly present itself, it may be showing itself in ways that you can't understand or seem normal and sometimes the way that people deal with their anxiety differs (because we're all unique individuals with complex histories and the capacity for enormous change).

The fact that it doesn't manifest the way that you expect doesn't mean it doesn't exist, and it doesn't mean that it isn't a daily conscious thought for the person experiencing it.

Anxiety takes over sometimes.

It can be like an entity that sits next to you while you're with your friends, or in your class, or even (and especially) when you're alone.

In high school, I had so many different forms and reactions to my anxiety because I had been introduced to a whole new world. I had been home schooled my entire life until high school, and nothing could have prepared me for the social cliques, the hurried deadlines, or the unique (and not always stellar) teaching practices/habits.

I had been a part of sports teams, made friends through programs and activities outside of my academics, but once I got into high school, it felt like my world had been upended.

I worried about how I dressed, or if I was saying the right thing, or if at any moment I would be viewed as this outsider without a way of making it back in.

Sometimes it's okay to just let yourself feel. Give yourself the space to allow your emotions to be acknowledged, but if it becomes too hard to manage, it is okay to ask for help.

There's such a stigma around counseling and asking for help, but let's face it, everyone needs assistance sometimes, and even if it's just a way to better manage stress, or developing new, more beneficial coping mechanisms to daily hardships, it's necessary.

I challenge you to ask for help when you need it.

Maybe even ask for help with something once a week, no matter how small it is. The more you continue to allow people the space to care for you and share your stress, hopefully, it will become easier to channel anxiety and find new ways to coexist with it.

I am not my anxiety, no matter how anxious I am day to day.

You are not your anxiety and you do not have to give your anxiety the power to overcome you. You are strong, special, intelligent, and you have made it this far.

Keep pushing against the tide and you will persevere.