Every year around this time, I wake up one morning, do a little stretch and say to myself, “Today is the day. Spring cleaning." I proceed to open my closet doors and my inner monologue begins rolling "Oh, I love this shirt I’ve worn once in the four years I have had it." "Hey remember when I wore that to my 11th grade best friend’s cousin’s graduation party. That day was so fun." "Wai,t this still has tags on it? Why?! I will totally wear this if I keep it." And so on. More often than not, by the end of the day, my closet, unfortunately looks exactly like it did when I began.
It got me thinking, why is goodbye so hard? I’m not just talking about saying goodbye to the shirt that your great aunt bought you three birthdays ago. But as a second semester junior in college (wait, what… ugh) I am beginning to stare a lot of goodbyes directly in the eyes. Goodbyes bring change. Change is uncomfortable and sometimes you don't know what changes will come when saying goodbye to something. I am completely and utterly afraid of what's to come.
I'm scared of my summer internship that it is in a challenging field. I'm scared of graduating and leaving the comforts of my little bubble in college. I'm scared of not knowing what I'll be doing for a career or being inadequate when I do find out. I'm afraid of trying something new and failing. I'm scared of moving out on my own and having to meet new people. I don't know at all what my future holds so holding on to what I do know, good or bad, will make the process easier right?
Well, you’d like to think so but not really. Every day, you'll stare at your closet telling yourself “I’ll clean this out on Saturday and go shopping for something new on Sunday” as you grab your favorite sweatshirt and head out the door. But then another couple months fly by and you still haven't taken the jump. I challenge you to spring clean something. Don’t let yourself get comfortable. It is time to push yourself out of that old sweatshirt with holes in it and onto the next (insert best Jay Z voice).
You don’t have to let go of everything, just make sure to make room for a few new things. Say goodbye to the fear holding you back from the internship in another state. Say goodbye to the boy who has strung you along for a year and meet someone new. Say goodbye to the people telling you that you can't. Say goodbye to that voice in yourself telling you that you won't. It may be hard to say goodbye to all of these comfortable things and move on, but it’s only for the best. You weren’t going to wear that blue shirt anyway. Make room for a new pink tank.
