Sometimes community can be found in the most unlikely of situations. North Carolina’s House introduced an anti-trans bill (HB2) during a time when I already had very few supportive people in my life. I felt even more isolated. Because of my experience with hotlines, I was afraid to call Trans Lifeline and talk to them about the feelings that I was having. However, Trans Lifeline is unlike any other hotline that I have ever called. Trans Lifeline does not do active rescue, which means that if the individual calling in is feeling suicidal, the operators do not alert the authorities. Trans Lifeline is meant to serve the community as a community of friends to call on when someone is in crisis, in need of someone to talk to, or in need of some resources.
Eventually, I talked myself into calling Trans Lifeline, and it was one of the best things that I have ever done for myself. The person that I talked to completely affirmed my identity as a trans person of color, and they told me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. I called every day since then and a training that I went to at the end of April, but I didn't always get through. However, when I did get through, there was always another person on the other end of the line who could understand what I was going through. It meant more to me than anything else to know that there was someone else on the other end of the phone who understood what I was going through, because for the first time since coming out to myself, I finally felt like I had a community of support behind me. I had friends that I could depend on. I didn't think I could get any more support than this, but I was so wrong.
On April 23, I went to a training for fighting HB2 in North Carolina. There I met the Operations Support Lead, Z Shane Zaldivar, who introduced himself to me and gave me a hug. There was someone from Trans Lifeline who came and talked to me, and he told me that if I ever needed anything that he was there for me. That encouraged me that how I was feeling and the emotions I was going through at that point in my life were truly valid. At that moment, I really felt like the trans community comes out and shows out for one another.
Since then, he has mentored me as I go through my transition and as I became a Trans Lifeline operator. As a Trans Lifeline operator, I have found community within my team, Team Awesome. We are truly there for each other. My team continues to inspire me to do the work necessary to lift up trans voices. Without the Trans Lifeline, I doubt that I would be anywhere close to where I am today. I owe them the greatest amount of gratitude for all the empowerment and strength that they have given me to be able to serve my community.
I encourage anyone who is struggling emotionally and feeling disconnected from community to give us a call at Trans Lifeline. It could be life changing to know that there are people that care for you. In fact, because of Z and the Trans Lifeline, I went from a place where I was considering ending my own life to finding community to being able to serve others in the community who are now in the place where I was a short time ago.
The number is (877)-565-8860 . Don't be afraid to call.
