In our fast paced world, relationships are something that are easily come by. Whether it's in friendships, work relationships, or even romantic relationships. These relationships often blossom without our awareness. But for anyone who has paid enough attention to the people that they associate with and the partners they’ve chosen, they can always see a trend. Whether you choose to associate with people of a certain intelligence or a certain political mindset, you make choices every day on whether or not you want to create a bond with someone based on their actions, thoughts, or general personality traits.
I started to be aware of this checklist while I was in high school, I believe I even mentioned it to a close friend of mine before. It involved having a set checklist of traits that we all wanted in a future husband. Kind, good with kids and animals, ambitious, among other things. Everyone had these traits that they loved and dreamt about, these traits that were imperative to their future happiness with their spouse. I believe that everyone creates these checklists when they go through relationships; checking off the good and adding the revisions as they go along. Perhaps even mentioning the traits that they refuse to put up with; laziness, lack of hygiene, etc. Despite whether or not someone wants to actively admit that they have these requirements for their future spouse, everyone has thought out preferences. Whether you want to call it a “type” or not, it comes into play in every single interaction.
For example;
You don’t want a boss who’s lazy, picks favorites, or doesn’t press the need to get a job done. You don’t want a best friend who gossips about you, refuses to keep your secrets a secret, or never gives you worthwhile advice about your life. You don’t want a boyfriend who is abusive, uncaring, or cold in personality. These are all parts of your checklist!
When I first mentioned this to my boyfriend, He seemed almost… wary of where I was about to go with this “human checklist.” I, of course, was complimenting him to say that he fit most (if not all) of my “relationship requirements.” Intelligence, open to traveling, ambitious, willing to wait for children, undeterred by hard work and the need to work diligently for your money, etc. Suddenly I could be perceived as a “crazy girlfriend” for having these preconceived notions about what I wanted in a relationship and in a partner. Looking back, I completely understand his guard upon my mentioning of my checklist! It sounds crazy when it’s put into works like; checklist, requirements, etc. But mentioning these wants and desires is completely sane and very important to a relationship! You and your partner need to be aware of what it takes to make each other happy. If you or your partner don’t fit these, that is not to mean that you cannot make each other happy. But, these checklists are put together to make you happy, not anyone else. If you believe that your partner cannot live up to these personal requirements, then you need to find someone or something who will. There is no harm in doing something with yourself in mind when it comes to your happiness!
In the same way, it’s very important to voice these in a friendship. If you’re trying to make new friends, you need to be aware of the type of friends you’d like to have. Kind? Adventurous? Spontaneous? Calm? Ambitious? When you have decided the type of company you’d like to keep, you need to stick to this in the search for friends. Don’t be afraid to not be friends with someone if they don’t fit your checklist. If they aren’t what you’re looking for, chances are you won’t have a prosperous future with them.
Don’t be afraid to revise and change your “human checklist” as people come and go! People leave our life and enter our life in order for us to revise that checklist and to keep it ever growing and molding into what is truly perfect for us. Happy hunting!
