Sundance 2018 Review: "Pity"

Sundance 2018 Review: "Pity"

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There has to be a name for individuals who benefit from other people's physical sickness and pain. It's not wholly narcissism, but also not entirely Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, but somewhere in between. In Pity, our tragic lead is one such person who thrives on the attention he gets from others while his wife lies in a coma. If this sounds like a wild premise, that's because it's from the writer Efthymis Filippou who brought you The Lobster, Dogtooth, and Killing of the Sacred Deer.

The lead is a nameless lawyer (played by actor Yannis Drakopoulos) is a well-to-do upper-class lawyer who becomes addicted to being miserable and the benefits that come with misery.  He likes this lifestyle so much that part of him hope his wife doesn't wake up from her Coma. He even goes so far as to invite others to participate in his pity party. Underneath the deadpan melancholy facade, his sadness is weaponized manipulation used to garner sympathy from others, so the void in his life is filled with gestures of kindness. When encountering others who are suffering, there is lingering jealousy. He studies those in mourning not because he feels compassion but because he is learning how to deceive others.

The lawyer's actions are suspect but why is he going through all the trouble for sympathy? He has a life that is well put together, has a good income— why does he love misery?  Sometimes the repetition of life can be so mundane that anything outside the norm is a cheap thrill. Just a tidbit of action can send anyone into a tailspin yearning for more. It is a way to be acknowledged, a way to exist in the world as pity seems to be the only time humans are empathetic to one another. But the film also shows there is a danger of being so self-absorbed you can't tell what's real and what is not.

Most of Filippou's work lies with director Yorgos Lanthimos, but working with director Babis Makridis on Pity reaps a grounded work that reflects a familiar reality. That sarcastic, monotone style resonates with captivating questions about human emotions and how humans react to the emotions of others. Driven by the joyfully awkward, and dry performance by Drakopoulos, Pity is a charming, foreign drama that reminds me that some people in this world just want to be noticed and will go to great lengths to make that happen.

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How Happiness In A Relationship Is So Important

What is the happiness and love that we as individuals deserve when it comes to our relationship?

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It's different for each of us. Some prefer being showered in gifts, being showed off on social media, bragged about to family and friends. But, what is the one thing that all of those have in common?

That would be the unmistakable amount of love your significant other has for you, that they will do anything to show you that they love you unconditionally. We all show our love for one another in various ways. I for one love being shown the love someone else has for me in small things they do.

It could be a simple 'good morning love' text message or even just a hug out of the blue. Knowing that someone cares so deeply about you is one of life's greatest gifts. Knowing that another human being loves you and wants to be with you, it makes us drunk off of love and our heads float up to the stars.

However, when we don't feel that love, that connection, that reassurance from our significant other that they love and care for us back, it can be an extremely overwhelming and a lonely feeling.

We start looking for those feelings and connections elsewhere. In our friends for reassurance if we look good or blowing up their phones for attention.

We start caring about if other people find us attractive or not, we relish in compliments that other people give us. We start looking for that happiness elsewhere. It's not because you stop loving your significant other or stop caring about them, but we as humans need to feel important and like we are needed by another person.

When you stop letting your significant other know how much you care about them or showcasing your love for them, even if it's a simple gesture like holding their hand or holding the door open for them, they will begin to look elsewhere.

Now I am in no way saying that they will cheat on you, but your relationship and their attitude and feelings towards you will never be the same until you start showing them how much they mean to you just as much as they do for you. I don't condone cheaters or staying in a relationship that you are not happy in.

Yes, some relationships go through hard times like distance or a traumatic event. However, the way I see it is if you entered into the relationship, to begin with, you obviously cared about that person a lot and if they show you that they care and love you for the person you are and your past then they deserve the same in return from you.

Relationships are not always easy, they take time, determination, communication, compromise, and love to stay afloat. If one of you isn't willing to give your all and put forth the effort needed then it will never work. A relationship can't be successful if it is only one-sided.

Despite peoples life's being busy on a day to day basis, you need to always find time for your significant other. Because at the end of the day when things hit the fan, your significant other should be the one that will be there no matter what and always be by your side.

All in all, you need to treat each other the way in which you would want to be treated in a relationship and treat them the way they should be treated despite whatever chaos is going on in the world about you. Love is the conquer of all and should never be thrown around or not taken seriously.

Loving someone else is a gift we are given by God and never taken lightly.

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