Recent studies have determined that the entire American population can be arbitrarily placed into two categories. These categories are called "Oprah" and "Wendy Williams." Using a heavily researched questionnaire, you too can figure out which category you fit into. That being said, you do have to fit into one category, or you are just simply not an American — because science never lies.
A friend asks you for some advice. How do you respond?
With whatever will make them stop talking.
Straight talk — no filter.
Which catchphrase do you prefer?
The "aha" moment.
"How you doin'?"
What are you known for?
Being incredibly wealthy and boisterous.
Spreading the good word of gossip.
Someone is making rude remarks towards you. How do you respond?
Telling them off with a nice read.
You just won an award! What would it be for?
Opening a new school in Africa.
Having the best wig on daytime television.
What would have been your advice for Kanye at the Grammys?
Please do not do it, Kanye!
Just go up there! I don't even know what a Beck is!
Your favorite artist releases a terrible album. What do you do?
Lie to yourself, your friends, and your family by telling them it's the best thing ever.
Tell it like it is and listen to their old hits to drown out this new mess.
Pick an audience.
What are you known for? You're having a bad hair day ... What do you do?
Pray that you do not see anyone you know.
Throw a wig on and call it a day.
An enemy from high school has taken a plunge in the area of vanity. What is your response?
Pity and console them.
Take the opportunity presented and bask in the moment.