Most of us can't actually remember much of our childhood. What we do remember mostly disintegrates from memories to facts, visual flashes and a vague idea of what is said.

Here's a take from someone with Eidetic memory.

Not only do I still retain my earliest of memories, but I retain them in great detail. Not just visual and auditory, (though I must admit, the auditory is fuzzy) but also my emotional state. I can remember how it felt.

Surely my description will bring back some memories for you.

I had been told to clean my room, and my brother and I shared a room. We sat around in inflatable plastic chairs, talking. It was hot, and I was wearing shorts. My legs were sticking to the chair. I saw my father peek his head around the corner of the stairs, he knew we weren't actually cleaning our room. It was such a mess the whole thing felt hopeless. We didn't know where to start and didn't have a lot of places to put our toys, much less a trash can for the spent pieces of paper we drew on. I knew we were in trouble.

It wasn't long until he came into the bedroom and proceeded to spank us. Me first this time, because I saw him and didn't get up and start cleaning the second I saw him. I had been frozen in fear since I saw his face, knowing that he was about to hurt me. I cried, I tried to run away, I knew that it didn't hurt that much, that I wouldn't bruise much from it unless he missed and hit my leg or back. No matter how many times I had been spanked, it didn't change the fact that it terrified me. That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach knowing that someone is going to hurt you and you can do nothing to stop it because they decided you "deserved it." I was terrified of my father, and often times even of my mother, though I was less afraid of her. She was often kind and nurturing, she had positive things to say, and often times gave hugs outside of the traditional parent-child hug obligations (i.e. bedtime, off to school, home from work, etc.).

I'm not here to slam my parents though. They actually realized that what they were doing was wrong partway through my childhood.

You see, their parents had a completely different idea of what qualified as discipline. Their parents used switches, fresh switches. Paddles. Belts. Etc. And their parents used worse. Stories in my family tree indicate that chains were used as a form of punishment at one point.

This lead to significant anger issues for each following generation, which lead to mistreatment of their children. However, due to having some vague recollection of how awful what they experienced was, they used less and less force as the generations went on, and worked more and more of managing their anger and teaching their children self control through non violent means. As my parents recognized what was going on, they sought treatment for what was done to them, and it drastically changed how they treated us.

I often hear the argument "Well I was spanked as a child, and I turned out ok."

No, love. You turned out the type of person to physically hit your child whenever you get angry with their behavior instead of using your words. You clearly did not learn the self control being hit was intended to teach you, and your children wont either.

How many times have we heard that bullies bully other children because they are bullied by their parents at home? Just because spanking is abuse-lite, doesn't mean it's acceptable. Whether we're talking about the pain or the terror you're inflicting on your child, or the terrible lessons you're teaching them by using violence to get them to do what you want, it doesn't matter. So put down your hand, get down on their level, cope with your anger and talk to your children.

Use your words.