You know that song "Kill V. Maim" by Grimes? I really, really like it. I should make a Spotify playlist called "Sit And Spin" and put some Grimes songs on there, but the playlist will be for spin class when I don't want to pedal to the beat of the instructor. Anyway, let's get down to business. I'm pretty sure the lyrics in "Kill V. Maim" could be rewritten to be less about vampire mobsters and more about the landmark abortion case Roe v. Wade. I'm also pretty confident I could be the one to do it. Just don't expect it soon is all I'm saying. Give it a listen and then I'll make my case.

What ignited my idea is the title "Kill V. Maim" can easily be made into "Roe V. Wade" without becoming too unfamiliar. It certainly makes my job easier that there is a "V" involved in both titles, and each word in both titles uses one syllable. And I wouldn't have to change any of the music, just the words. As I said before, it would be unreasonable to expect a finished product from me soon. I can't nail down an exact timeframe until I get cracking, but it would definitely take longer than an afternoon. Maybe even a few days to a week if I really focus. But I don't know, dude. I still need to figure out if this should be written in the perspective of a Supreme Court Justice or of an unborn soul, and the only way to decide that is to write more than one version, which would take God knows how long. I should probably brush up on my knowledge of law as well.

The least I can do is disclose some ideas I had to get the juices flowing and prove that I'm onto something. You know the chorus when Grimes says "Eh, I don't behave, I don't behave, oh"? I think, and bear with me here, that this line could be rewritten as "Wade, it's Roe v. Wade, it's Roe v. Wade, oh" and so on for most of the chorus. It makes sense right? That's kind of all I have right now because I just recently thought of this and will need more time to iron out all the kinks. Maybe the last line of the chorus could be changed from "Are you going to the party? Are you going to the show?" to the more politically-conscious "Are you going to the courtroom? Will the Gorsuch overturn?" Mentioning Gorsuch might not make the tune as timeless in case the Roe v. Wade becomes endangered in the future by different parties, though. I'm telling you all of this so you know I'm not just blowing smoke here.

Rewriting song lyrics is difficult and thankless work. America's favorite wiseguy "Weird Al" Yankovic hit the jackpot being the best at it, but his success is a rarity. Most parody songs never get any exposure outside of classroom projectors. The slim probability that I could receive acclaim for making "Kill V. Maim" into the very clever "Roe V. Wade (working title)" does not deter me from trying. I think we could all benefit from this in our current political climate, so this endeavor wouldn't be for my own personal glory. It would be more than a parody, but something we can use to learn about the legality of abortion in our nation in a fun and energized way.