Why Opening Up To People Is So Hard Sometimes
Start writing a post

Why Opening Up To People Is So Hard Sometimes

It's okay, you're not alone.

Why Opening Up To People Is So Hard Sometimes

Dear those of you who have a hard time opening up,

If you have ever watched the popular television drama, One Tree Hill, you're probably familiar with Peyton Sawyer's famous line, "people always leave." If you're like me, you know that it's true that people always leave, which is why you're careful about who you open up to.

People come and go and it's hard to judge who is going to stay and be there for the long run. Opening up to someone is like giving that person a small part of your soul, so you have to be smart about who you give a part of your soul away to. When people leave your life, it's hard, no matter how close you were to them. Like there's that one person you were kind of acquaintances with in high school who now no longer acknowledges your existence and that SUCKS. It also sucks when someone you're close with leaves.

Having to decide who gets to know you is incredibly challenging. It is so hard to tell who is worthy of knowing things about you. Sometimes sharing little things can be just as scary as sharing big private things. Asking someone what their favorite color is can be just as nerve wracking for them as asking them about their childhood. In 2017 there are so many different games and facades people can play, which can make it extra challenging to determine who you should share your soul with. About a year ago there was this trend called "Waste Your Time" and people would literally talk to others like they had an intention of dating them, when in reality they were just wasting their time, because apparently that's funny? It's games like these ones that push people away from ever opening up to others because "people always leave."

Everyone knows that getting close to people is part of life and you can't push everyone you meet away, but of course knowing that and achieving that are two different things. Opening up is hard. You're vulnerable and in a place of pure emotional rawness, and people can be so cruel and unforgiving and apathetic. And trying to decipher how someone is going to act when you open up to them is HARD, especially when it comes to trying to figure out how someone you're romantically interested in is going to react to the skeletons in your closet, or at least to finding out that you're a cat person.

Instead of opening up to people, we have a tendency to build up walls. Sometimes it's easier to be closed in and alone than it is to risk losing a part of your soul to someone who is just going to end up leaving. There's this voice in the back of your head that says something along the lines of, "if you tell so-and-so this, they're going to leave, so don't share that with them." We know it's crazy and absurd and we tell ourselves that "if they don't like what they hear then fuck them and move on," right? Well, that's not what happens all the time. Sometimes we like a person so much we're afraid that we're going to scare them away with our scary past, or scary present, or maybe even scary future, so we keep the information to ourselves and wait for "the perfect moment" to share all of our skeletons. But that perfect moment never comes and we just end up pushing yet another person away, all because we're afraid of them leaving on their own.

It's crazy, I know, but in my short 22 years I have met so many people who struggle with opening up to others, just like I do. There's this fear of judgement and fear of being patronized by someone of deep importance, and that fear stems from people always leaving, or threatening to leave.

If you're with someone who won't open up to you, don't pressure them. They'll get there, it may just take a while. It has nothing to do with you. If I don't open up to you, it's not about you. I may not feel comfortable at a certain moment. Or I'm afraid of what you're going to think or say. Or I'm trying to see if I can trust you or not. The more you pry for information, the more likely people like me are going to push you away. Don't take it personally, I mean it could be worse, we could be a sharer*.

The moral of all of this is that people who don't open up right away have their reasons and they're valid ones. It's scary telling someone personal things about you, especially if you don't know how they're going to react. So, please be patient and kind and empathetic, because we're probably trying our best.

*SHARER: someone who tells you all about their life even when you haven't asked them about it. You're probably just standing in front of them in the long check out line at Target and they tell you about their cat with 8 toes who was left alone in a field when he was a mere kitten.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
11 Songs That Will Hit You In The Feels, No Doubt About It

One of my favorite things to do when it comes to music is making different playlists on Spotify. I find it so fun to go back to old songs, find new ones, and categorize them into my different playlists. We all have that one playlist that we resort to when we are really feeling some type of way — also known as a "feels" playlist. If you have one of these playlists or feel ~inspired~ to make one, here are 11 songs that are a must to add.

Keep Reading... Show less

To My Fellow Girls With Resting B**** Face

A letter to my friends with RBF about understanding your own face and helping others deal with it.

Jupe du Jour

To the girl with resting b**** face:

Keep Reading... Show less

The Boyfriends Of The 2000s

Thank you, J14, for the Posters

J14 magazine

Every girl remembers her first crush. Even if your first crush was the boy in your kindergarten class that ate crayons, your first true love will always be the one that holds the key to your heart. Growing up in the 2000s, everyone knew who your dream guy was. Your family probably still give you grief and your best friends probably still reminisce, so it is impossible to forget your first celebrity crush. You bought a Tiger Beat magazine every chance you could just to read up about what your favorite celebrity was doing. Your room was fully decorated with posters of them, and it wasn't unusual to have fights with your best friends over who was going to marry him. If you were a 90's baby, lucky you because the 2000s were full of boys that were easy to love. I hope you enjoy a walk down memory lane and quickly realize that Bieber was definitely not the first guy with that hair cut. Here are 15 90's baby's first boyfriends.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

20 Things I Learned By The Start of My 20s

No one expects you to have your life together by the time you're 20, because honestly, they didn't either.

Allyson Foutty

We are all often faced with many life challenges throughout the time leading up to our 20s. Before this time, and throughout it, we often look back at the things we've learned and how they've influenced who we are as people today. Some of my biggest influences were some of the challenges I've faced, but they've taught me 20 important things by the start of my 20s.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Boyfriend Recipe

The ingredients to build a relationship are a little more complicated than just a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy.


Relationships. Long distance or not, significant others are much more than just that. I would be lying if I said I did not love the sweet gestures that only a boyfriend can give. The flowers, funny phone calls, hand holding, breakfast dates, and tight hugs are special but my relationship and many others out there exist on much more than just these little gestures. It is a tricky concoction that consists of one part boyfriend and two parts best friend and would not work without one part or the other. While having a relationship may not be quite as easy as baking a batch of cookies, it has its own recipe (with a few variations for flavor) to follow for a good match.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments