This world is never enough. There’s always something else grabbing my eye and tugging at my heart. From the latest iPhone to the love from a boy, I want it all. My gaze wanders and my heart follows it.
Recently my desire, my wandering eye, has been fixed on escape. I want something more. I want an adventure that gives me memories. I want experiences that will change me. I want time not wasted. I want life fully lived. I want all these things, but here is where I stay.
Stuck in college. Now, I have to admit it is not a bad place to be. I know many would switch places with me in a heartbeat. This testament is a fact to our discontentment. We are never fully content in our lives. And that’s what I want, to be content. Though, I am not content with contentment. I want to be happy... I want to thrive.
I thrive in adventure, in experiencing the world fully without distractions.
That’s all college is to me – a schedule of distractions. Business is the thief of experience and, let me tell you, I’m sick of busy. I want to find the source of this plague and destroy it because it has made me ill… physically, mentally, and emotionally. I am spent.
The never-ending schedule has me never reaching my bed. The ongoing responsibilities cause me to run circles in my head. The weary state of my soul can never find rest, though our culture convinces us that this is best. To be in college and to overcommit, to run in a circle that has no end.
This is not the life I envisioned.
When I imagine my future I see sunrises and sunsets. I feel spontaneity rising within me. I picture landscapes and mountain ranges that don’t do the picture justice. I daydream memories and unforgettable tales.
That is how life should be lived. In the moment because moments are momentary, an obvious fact that can be overlooked. There’s never going back. Re-dos don’t exist, but second chances do. I just want to live my life knowing that I only need one. One chance. One shot. One moment, living each moment as one to remember.
I want that life. I want to drop everything and bike across South America or roadtrip across the United States. I want to fly across the world and ride an elephant in Thailand. I want to live in Australia, making the beach my backyard. I want to live a life that is worthy of postcards.
I want more than what I have, I want a life that is not mine. One day I may get there. Maybe one day will be my time, where I find, life.
I pray that one day becomes my everyday life.
