To my much taller (but still younger!) brother,

You and I have always been extremely different people, and yet, for some reason, I wouldn’t change this for the world. You’ve made a huge impact on who I am today, and without you, I don’t think I’d be sane (well, as sane as I can get).

I’m sorry that I was so mean when we were younger. I’m sorry that I was that older sister who teased you mercilessly, who made fun of you for being younger, who made you follow along with whatever game I wanted to play, and who didn’t really listen to what you had to say.

I’m sorry that I often ignored you when I was in my early teen years. I’m sorry that we grew apart because I wasn’t kind, that you didn’t want to be around me because of my bad attitude, that I almost pretended to not care for you at all. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how much I appreciated you.

I’m so happy that you’ve been in my life, because without you, who would I be? Not willing to compete for something I really wanted, that’s for sure. Thanks for challenging me in our battle for the higher grade point average, for the competition of who could play their instrument better, and for the war of who was better at whichever sport (but just to let you know, I only ever let you win in basketball once in a while because of how much I appreciated that you would occasionally let me win in hockey).

Thank you for asking me if I was okay when I’d come home from high school and burst into tears. Thank you for praying for me, and for caring so much about me when I didn’t seem to care about anyone. Thank you for never forgetting me, for wanting to go for drives together, for being someone that I want to be.

Thank you for being an amazing chef. You’ve come a long way from when we made our cream cheese and salsa sandwiches. I’m glad you have, because I still burn pancakes to the point of where they’re raw on the inside but black on the outside.

I’m so sorry that I didn’t notice when you were sad because I was wrapped up in my own selfish world. I’m sorry I ever made you cry when we were little. I’m sorry that I ever said I hate you (I never did, and I never will). I’m sorry I got rid of your sheet music that one time (at least that fight was mutual, though!), and I’m sorry for all the stupid things I did that hurt your feelings.

I’m so thankful for you: for when I got to take you back to school clothes shopping before your senior year, for the drives we got to take before I went off to college, and for all the memories we’ve made together. I’ll never forget how you always have my back. I’ll never forget the day I realized you were taller than me, or how you tell me your secrets before you tell others.

I miss you more than you miss me while I’m here at university. I’m so proud of you for the person that you’ve become. Your kindness, your brilliance, your thoughtfulness, how much you love others, how you put others first, your love for God, your ability to work hard, and your quiet stubbornness are beautiful qualities that I want to aspire to. Even though I’m the older sister, in so many ways I want to be like you.

To my little (much, much taller!) brother, thank you. You’ve helped me become who I am today; I don’t know who I’d be without you. I can’t wait to see you when I come home.

Sincerely,

An older sister who appreciates you more than she ever said