An Open Letter To My Shitty Ex-Boyfriend

We met on Tinder back in late December of 2016.

You messaged me first and complimented me right off the bat.

I replied to your message and we hit it off really well as you figured out how to swoon me with your sweet messages.

Since we did meet on Tinder, I didn't know what to expect as I was used to the vast amount of messages of guys just wanting to hookup.

For the first month or so, you held back to those types of messages and you talked to me as if you wanted something serious. Slowly but surely you began to show me your true intentions with the subtle hints that you wanted to do more than just kiss once we officially met. You eventually moved on to being very explicit about what you wanted and I would tell you that before we got to that step I wanted something serious.

I have to say I do appreciate that once I told you that, you were honest with me saying that you didn't have time to jump into a relationship and you couldn't offer me something I deserved. We still talked as I was trying to figure if I wanted to actually settle into what you wanted but I figured that I really wanted something more. It wasn't worth wasting each other's time and that is why I chose to want to end whatever we had going on.

A couple of weeks passed and I caved in wanting to talk to you again so I chose to text you and start things back up again.

You said you missed me and were happy I began talking to you again. You started again with your sexual requests and I told you the same thing of wanting something serious before we got intimate.

You ended up giving me what I wanted and asked me to be your girlfriend because you claimed that I "was way too perfect to let go".

I said yes but then I began to immediately regret it and I couldn't figure out why but I kept going with it for a bit.

I listened to that regret and ended things as you never made a single effort to come see me when you had a car but I didn't have a car, yet I was the one who found ways to get to where you were. I wasted my time, money and energy each time and even when you claimed you loved me.

We didn't talk for a few months and I went back on Tinder since I had deleted it while we were together. I found you on it once again and we eventually matched again and got back together because I felt lonely. You promised me that things would be different and that you would be a better partner to me. You even wrote me a song and posted it on SoundCloud but you only did it help your career.

All those promises were just words to you.

You went back to your old ways and I finally grew tired of it so I chose to finally call quits for good. It was almost two years of being so on and off and it was draining me. From social media, I discovered that you cheated on me multiple times while we were together and I am highly certain it was because I chose to never have sex with you because you didn't live up to what I deserved. During the times we were together, I never felt love for you which is why I never said it to you.

If I'm being completely honest, I hate you so much Simon — but even through your bullshit you showed me some good life lessons.

I was silly to thinking could change you but your mind was always set.

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