At the beginning of our relationship, we used words like "forever" and "always" to describe the way we felt about each other. We felt invincible, anything that could break us wouldn't because of the young love we shared.
You were all I could think about. You were the first person I would call when something would happen in my life and the first person I would call just because I wanted to hear your voice. Every single time I looked at my phone, I looked at the picture of us and smiled, every single time. I saw you and knew you were a big presence in my life by the way you made me feel. Was it really a family dinner if you weren't there by my side telling me you loved your steak medium well and laughed at my tendency to nod my head as I ate? Was it really a Friday night if you didn't wrap me in your arms while I memorized the shape of your lips as you looked at the screen? I would purposely wear the long skirt because I knew you thought I looked beautiful in it. I began to find interest in things that you were passionate about because the look in your eyes when you would talk about these things made me fall in love with them and you even more. Anytime you needed my help, I was there before you asked. Anytime you needed my support, I was already cheering you on. Anytime you told me you loved me, I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, "forever" and "always."
Even when things become difficult, I still saw that sparkle in your eye that made me stay. I was there through the good, and I was there for the bad. I saw you when you were crushed when that one person told you that you weren't good enough. Even when I told you, you were the best in my eyes, it, also, wasn't good enough. Something changed with you. Something changed with us. You felt the need to find different ways to validate who you were when the ones that loved you already knew your potential and abilities, but that one's person opinion made all the difference. We were each other's happiness, and never did I think in a million years I would be the one to realize it wasn't there anymore. Because of that one person, everything changed. I hate that person.
I began losing you. I wasn't who you wanted anymore. I kept on denying it. I didn't want to believe it. What happened to "forever?" What happened to "always?" You still said it, but you didn't mean it like you used to. Things became forced, and things turned into a routine. As you stopped showing your love for me, I began fighting for more. The more I fought, the more I felt like you weren't doing the same for me. After that one night, I didn't see that sparkle in your eyes like I used to, I stopped fighting.
Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't easy, and it wasn't what I wanted. But, what I wanted more in the world was for you to want me, and that's when I realized I needed to stop. I needed to love myself, and I found myself hating myself for not being what you wanted. Things went downhill from there. But, in the end, we were just two people who had fallen out of love.
It's been a year, and now, we're nothing more than a distant memory. When we drive past our favorite places and think of our inside jokes and laugh, we know that there was a time where that meant the world to us. You used to mean the world to me, but "forever" and "always" turned into nothing more than an empty promise. We loved, we fought, we hurt, but I know for sure, I'll always remember.
