Solomon,
I honestly don’t know if you realize how much you mean to me. Every time you purr in my lap, my heart grows a little fuller and my depression a little less. Throughout my life I have not had someone know when I’m upset before I do and it’s such a magical feeling. I can feel the rocks start building in my stomach and immediately you are on my lap, poking your fluffy chin in my face and purring like the little lawn mower you are.
On those days when getting up is too hard and the thought of anything but sleep is exhausting are the times when you help the most. I know I need to feed you, give you water and pet you a bit. You meow at me for my own sake. If I get up and do these simple tasks, the rest doesn't seem as hard. I can get you water and then take my medications. You just make life so much easier, my Sully bear.
The minute the paper was signed for you to move in with me, I went and got you. The paperwork wasn’t even completely finalized but I needed you in my arms so I went anyway. All the calls I had to make so that they would let me have you in my room before the paperwork was final: it worked out cause you and I are meant to be, bud. You needed a home and I needed love. I was so lost for so long until my therapist suggested getting a kitty. It was the best decision I ever made.
You are so spoiled. I take care of you how you take care of me. You make sure I live another day and I cook you chicken on my hot plate. You curl up around my head when I have panic attacks and softly paw at my hair and I buy you as many toys as I can fit in my cart. You are the best cat to have ever catted. I know that’s not a verb but I’m making it one because you deserve it.
I was amazed at the fact that my medication dose actually went down only two weeks of having you. It dropped by half because I was feeling so good and so loved. That is something I never dreamed of before I met you. The warmth of giving you a big hug and scratching your head is something precious. You make me feel important and needed when you push your head against my hand, demanding to be petted because you know momma gives the best scratches.
Without you I’d still be that fumbling mess I was. You give me a reason to wake up, a reason to take care of myself and a reason to live another day. Your stupid little double chin makes me so happy and the fact that I can’t wear black anymore is a sacrifice worth making. I can’t wait to spend the next 10-15 years with my buddy, my Sully, my spudz, my bub, my fluff butt.
Love,
Your mess
