An Open Letter to PMS
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

An Open Letter to PMS

Please stop eating all of my chips.

39
An Open Letter to PMS
Wetpaint

Dear PMS,

So nice of you to have stopped by. I wasn’t expecting you for at least another few days, but now that you’re here I suppose I should be a good hostess and let you make yourself at home. Heaven knows you’re good at that. I’ve put together a nice little veggie platter for you to snack on in case you get hungry... Oh? You don’t want a healthy snack? Only Chinese food and a strict diet of Chick-Fil-A sauce? Well, I’ll see what I can do.

Listen, I actually wanted to talk to you about something. I feel like this relationship that we’ve created is a little... one-sided, to say the least. I invite you in, you sit down, then after a while you do this thing where you don’t leave my house for at least a week, and all you do is sit on my couch and eat all my food.

That alone isn’t too bad, but what you do to my brain is only a little bit concerning. See, I don’t know if you realize this, but whenever you stop by you try to have these philosophical conversations with me that leave me feeling kind of bummed out. You’ll be laying on the floor popping some of my Flaming Hot Cheeto fries and then you’ll ask something like, “Hey, what if nobody actually really likes us and we’re just wasting their time?” Or, “Have you ever thought that maybe, we’re more of an inconvenience to everyone we love than anything else? Because I sure think about that.”

And then after these questions have laid themselves out on the table, you do this thing where you get irrationally angry and clench your fists until your knuckles turn white, mumbling stuff like, “F@&# ‘em, they don’t deserve us. We’re too good for anyone,” or, “You should make an incredibly open-ended statement on social media that’ll make people roll their eyes when they see it. I dunno, seems like the logical thing to do.”

And then you decide to lay facedown on my bed for several hours, which I don’t mind too much, besides the fact that it makes cleaning my room a little more difficult than usual.

The reason I’m telling you all this is because... well, I just don’t really see this friendship being a very healthy one. I know we’ve known eachother for about eight years now, but I need a little bit of space until we can figure out how we can both benefit from this relationship. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t bottle up all your emotions until the week before your aunt comes to visit. I know you don’t like her, and I don’t particularly appreciate her visiting either, but for God’s sake, don’t just let it build up like that. Write in a journal; write some sad poetry. Do something to vent besides letting it all out on me, because it’s getting to be a little too exhausting.

There, I’m glad we had this talk. Now, have a good night. Tell your aunt I say hi.

Sincerely,

Your Generous Hostess

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

50603
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

32355
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

955629
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

180710
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments