An Open Letter To The Girl That I See In The Mirror: The You That I Can See
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

An Open Letter To The Girl That I See In The Mirror: The You That I Can See

Talking to myself in the mirror: the you that I can see.

84
An Open Letter To The Girl That I See In The Mirror: The You That I Can See

Maybe the others can't see you, but I can.

I see you. You're struggling. I can see it in your face. I can see it in your eyes. The way it looks as if being tired gave you two black eyes. Your eyes heave in the weight of the heavy bags they carry.

Your eyes are dark, hollow like you haven't slept in days. And it feels like you haven't. Sleep comes and goes and when it stays, the nightmares roam free and you're not fast enough to outrun them. I can see you're struggling in your eyes.

The way your depression creeps its way out and manifests into the tears that stream down your cheeks, down your neck, onto your chest. The way your anxiety controls your leg as it bounces up and down and up and down and up and down.

You're jittery and frantic with anxiety shooting out of your fingertips like sparks that might set your body on fire if you don't listen to the OCD that tells you to tap your fingers five times. Then ten times. Then each finger one time.

But remember to bounce your leg, too. Up and down. Up and down. Tap, tap, tap. All of your mental illnesses merging into one and coursing through your mind and body with its venom. But you can't fight your own brain. Your own emotions.

So you tap, tap, tap. Bounce, bounce, bounce. Always counting. Always thinking. Always paranoid that the doomsday cloud you can never seem to escape may rain down terror at any turn in your life.

You wonder if everyone's mad at you.

Do they hate you? Are thinking about what you said yesterday? What you said 3 years ago? Do they think you're strange? Are they ever going to talk to you again? Are they mad at you? Did you say "good morning" the wrong way? Are they mad at you?

Do they know? Do they know the way you obsess over every conversation? Every word? Each syllable?

Do they know? Have they figured out that you feel trapped in your own mind? That your emotions have you enslaved to their games and questions of "am I good enough?"

Are they mad at you? Tap, tap, tap. Bounce, bounce, bounce.

Sometimes your anxiety, your depression, your OCD... it sneaks up on you. You aren't yourself.

You feel off. It's a bad day. Then it turns into a bad week. Then a bad few months. And on and on and on.

I can see you're struggling.

But... I'm here to tell you, that it's okay.

It's okay to struggle. It's okay to feel emotions so deeply. You feel so much. The pain you feel hurts so deeply, it's so deep-rooted. But with dark there is light. You may feel the hurt deeply. But you also love deeply.

You feel love and happiness intensely. It feels like looking into a fire and being able to touch the flames. It's like watching the light shine on the water and feeling yourself dance along with the way it moves.

You feel so deeply. It moves inside of you. You may be struggling, but you are growing. You must struggle to grow. You must know the dark to recognize the light. You must be close friends with the hurt and pain so that you may treasure, love, and cherish happiness.

I can see you're struggling. And I can see that you're growing.

But most importantly, I can see you.

I see you. I see you with all of your flaws, your emotions, your anxiety, your depression, your OCD, your smile, your warmth. I see all of the things that make you, you.

You are the sum of all of the things that you feel. You feel richly, deeply, beautifully. No matter the emotion, good or bad. You feel. And that's what makes you human. That's what makes you beautiful. That's what makes you, you.

Tap, tap, tap. Bounce, bounce, bounce.

I can see you.

.... Do you think they're mad at me?

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

85771
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

51644
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments