An Open Letter To The Man I Fell In Love With

Dear Man I Fell In Love With,

When I met you, you drove me crazy. I was at point in my life where I resigned myself that I wasn't going to fall in love.

I told myself, I didn't need anyone and was fine on my own. I was an independent woman. This still hold true but now I'm an independent woman who has an anchor and pillar to hold her when she needs strength and calm. You think being an anchor to someone is bad but in my eyes, you hold me still in the water even when the harshest waves try to shake me. You are there to ground me when I feel like I can float away and guide me back to reality. You are my pillar when I feel weak and tired, ready to give up. You give me strength to carry on even in my darkest days.

Honestly, I don't know how you put up with me.

When I need constant love and attention you give it to me, without complaint. When I need reassurance and for you to tell me I'm pretty, you do it, without getting mad. Even when I know I'm being annoying, you love me more, remaining steady and patient. You love my flaws and my quirkiness, telling me to never change: that you love me as I am. When we are fooling around and I have a random thought in my head, distracting me from the task at hand, you laugh and stroke my face. When I told you I valued sex and wanted to wait, you didn't hesitate with your acceptance and never pressured me.

When I met you, I thought the worst of men and had lost hope because one man had hurt me so badly that no one wanted to pick up the pieces.

But you, my love, began taking the jagged pieces of me, fitting them back together like a messed up puzzle, cherishing every piece you picked up. You told me what was done to me was wrong and that it wasn't my fault. When I told you I was broken, you pulled me close, held me, and whispered in my ear that I was beautiful. You called me an assassin, your assassin. I am your Natasha. I am fierce and hard but also soft and vulnerable. Every day you show me parts of myself I didn't even know existed. I can share my inner most secrets with you, without fear of judgment or rejection. When I met you, I didn't recognize the girl I saw in the mirror but now I see myself clearly again. I was coming to see myself on my own but you made it more special and more valuable, showing me I deserved love, to never give up hope on myself or the world. You are the first man to call me beautiful and the first man I believed because I saw it in your eyes. You truly think I am beautiful.

When I met you, I fell in love.

It wasn't love at first sight but I knew you'd play a part in my life. You made a girl, who was told she could never dance again, dance. Not just well or as good as before but better than before. You strengthen me physically but also emotionally and mentally. I can never fully express my gratitude. I can't wait to spend every day, of the rest of our lives, showing you how much I love you. My eyes were wide open when we fell in love, it won't be easy but I'm willing to fight for us, no matter what or who tries to get in our way.

I just want you to know, I'll be your assassin forever.

I'll fight any battles you need me to, standing strong and loyal at your side. I'll love you for as long as I breathe and even into death. I'll love becoming your wife and the mother of your children. I love how you make cute noises or how mad you make me when you tickle me until it hurts to breathe, from laughing so much. I love you when you grab my butt and when you put your hand on my head. I love laying on your chest in my "home". I love listening to you talk about your day because it fascinates me.I love laying with you, simply listening to you breathe. I love your kisses and your hands touching my body, in the most innocent of ways. I'll cuddle closer on cold days because you exert an inhuman amount of heat and I love being close to you.

We fit together, like puzzle pieces. We complete each other.

You make me happy every single day we are together. I love you more and more with each and every passing second. You're my "baka". The love of my life. I love you: with every fiber of my being, with all the passion in my heart, and more than all the stars in the sky. I love you, Panda.

“ Agapi mou , you are my everything."

Love,

Cat