Dear Holiday Pictures,

First of all, how dare you. Whoever decided that I should have to get dressed up and try to look flawless during the holiday season is one sadistic person. I mean, I just ate fourteen pounds of food at Thanksgiving and you expect me to be picture ready less than a week later? And even if it is later in the month, with all the peppermint and chocolate floating around, you think I’m going to fit into the dress I bought for this occasion? Rude.

Let’s talk about color schemes, okay? Everyone loves doing the matching color schemes in their pictures. And honestly? They are gold (no pun intended). There is something so beautiful about a family all wearing the same blue and silver or red and green. But that is only if it is executed correctly. Tell me why there is always that one child in that shade of white that is completely different from every other white in the picture? Or when all the men wear the same shoes except that one guy who decided that his Jordans would make a better impression? Do you really think you are making the card any better by changing up the unity? I get it, it’s all about freedom of expression and not allowing yourself to be brought down by normality and uniformity - but it looks so awkward.

Also, why does it seem like there is always one person who looks worse than everyone else? I have very rarely seen a picture where everyone looks absolutely flawless. Recently, I looked like I got scared and was trying to remain calm in my family’s photo. This is common, so why do we keep letting people purchase pictures that have one unlucky soul looking like they were resurrected shortly before the picture?

All in all, I don't completely hate you, but you could be kinder. And also to all of those who take these pictures, STOP LETTING PEOPLE BUY THEM IF NOT EVERYONE LOOKS OKAY.

Sincerely,