Dear Little Emotional Old You,

Yes, I have a right to call you emotional because right now that’s what you are and it’s alright. Currently, you see yourself as a problem to everyone in your life, and I’m just going to take a guess that you’ve felt this way more than once. Maybe you’re off making a list of all the things you can’t do and all that you don’t have. But don’t worry, I’m not judging you for it.

I’m not here to tell you that everything will get better or that you won’t always feel this way because I sincerely have zero way of knowing if that is actually true. And that doesn’t make me mean, it makes me realistic. Nor does it make me wise, it makes me experienced.

You tend to get reminded about all the “beef” that you have with people in your life, and once that reminder hits, it can stay stuck with you for days. Life is filled with drama and you seem to feel as if you’re the cause of it, and I know that really sucks. That cause not only makes you feel like a villain in everyone else’s world, but a victim in your own, as if the world just decided that your life is going to be the one to have more issues with others than anybody else you’ve ever met.

Aside from the “friendship drama,” you sometimes feel as if you’re not growing up fast as the rest of your friends. So many of your friends have boyfriends when they're in college, and the most that you have is possible feelings for someone else. So many of your friends seem as if they’ve found their place in college, and so do you, but you don’t feel that way all the time. This all seems like so many little problems messed up in one, and then when you put the pieces together, you start to feel as if the problem is “you.”

One thing I will say is that I’m sorry you feel so awful. I’m sorry you had to see yourself through this perspective because I've seen myself through it too. Despite the sympathy that you get from your friends and family, your viewpoint never changes. And sometimes, you worry that people are going to cut you off for being so emotional and once you think about that, your mind goes “ding! that’s another problem I have!” You know you’re too sensitive and the world gets frustrated by overly sensitive people, and if they do, to hell with them and they are not the people for you.

I know you feel weak and I can’t promise you that you’ll get stronger, but there is an opportunity somewhere alone the lines to get there. You’re accustomed to being told that you’re bad at handling and sometimes being a people person just frustrates you, but you know you kind of need it to actually make a living in life. And seeing yourself as problematic DOES NOT make you depressed, it just shows how you’re seeing yourself in a way that may not be the healthiest for you. Despite all the things you may lose or wants that you won’t have, a piece of you knows that you’re fine.

Sincerely,

The Nineteen-Year-Old Girl That Feels Problematic