Growing up, I was always the "shy" kid. That was my identity.
That was the way people would describe me and therefore, that was the way that I described myself. I was quiet and insecure. I begged my mom to stay at my side every moment. I was the little kid who cried when a babysitter put me to sleep instead of her. I didn't like meeting new people. I absolutely hated being the center of attention. By every definition, I WAS SHY.
Now, the word "shy" literally makes me cringe.
I hate the sound of it and the way it makes me feel about myself. I am an introvert and I am not in any way ashamed of that. God made extroverts and introverts and one is not more important than the other. Being an introvert has benefited me in so many ways. It has allowed me to be observant, and gentle, and thoughtful. I can pick up on people's moods and emotions, even when they are trying to hide them.
Being an introvert is a gift and I am not afraid to say that.
However, being an introvert is completely different from being shy. To me, "shy" will always have a negative meaning because it reminds me of other things that people would say along with that word. Comments like, "We just need to break you out of your shell," still bother me to this day. Growing up, I was never the first one to start a conversation but that doesn't mean that you need to "break" me out of a shell. There was nothing wrong with me.
But once you are labeled as "shy," there is no changing that in minds of most people.
Even when you decide to talk, you can't win because suddenly, people look at you as if you have two heads. Once you are considered a freak for being quiet, you will also be a freak if you speak.
Starting college was freeing for me because it allowed me to meet a completely new group of people. They didn't know me as shy. They didn't expect me to stay quiet because that was what I had always done in the past. It seems weird but that gave me confidence. I no longer consider myself "shy" and I hope that no one thinks that of me. I am more outgoing now than I have ever been. I am still an introvert and I will never be an extrovert but that is okay.
I will still stand up for myself and others I will communicate with someone if I have a problem with them. I will volunteer to participate in class.
I took me a little while but I now except that I can be myself, have confidence, and still be an introvert. That doesn't make me shy! That makes me, me! I can sit in the back of the classroom and will participate, I can join in conversations without leading them, and I can speak meaningfully without speaking all of the time.
I hope that I can speak for other "shy" people when I say that we can be introverts without being shy. The way to give us confidence is not to "break" us out of our shells by pushing us into uncomfortable situations but rather to allow us to feel comfortable with being ourselves in any situation.
Sincerely,
The "Shy" Girl
