Dear Mr. Meninist,

Guess what? I have a secret to tell you. Feminists do not hate you, nor are they seeking to oppress you. Surprised? You really shouldn't be. When a woman tries to address the problems she faces because of her gender, she is not seeking to hurt you, degrade you, or act like you do not face issues as well.

It is because of people like you that a girl I know said that the word “feminism” made her want to shoot herself in the head. Women have become afraid to stand up for themselves out of fear that they will be seen as “man-haters.” Most women will not call themselves feminists because the term has become so twisted by people like you who’s fragile ego has been hurt by a woman daring to point out that society has favored you. Throughout our lives, women have been told “boys will be boys” when trying to address ill-treatment we received. But when a person says “boys will be boys” it is not said as a bad thing; it is excusing a boy’s bad behavior. When a person says “she's just being a girl” it does not have the same connotations. Being a girl is seen as less than. Being a girl is treated as being synonymous with weak, emotional, and irrational. And it pains me to see that these stereotypes have caused women to turn on other women.

Don’t tell me that feminism needs a new name. It doesn't need a new name, people like you need a new attitude. I’m tired of hearing people say that we should be calling ourselves equalists because this name does not address the issue at hand; it does not specify who I am fighting for. I am a feminist because I recognize the issues that WOMEN (meaning all who identify) are facing and I believe in a movement that seeks to gain equality for WOMEN because we lack it. I am fighting for women because women need to be fought for. And my feminism is intersectional. I will not call myself an equalist because as we stand now, women are not seen as equal. The reason we have feminism, the reason we need feminism is because society is structured in such a way that women are oppressed and face double standards and abuse. Yes, men face issues themselves and those issues do need to be dealt with, however, that does not change the fact that statistically, women will far more often face discrimination, violence, and systematic abuse than men will. Women’s issues need to be talked about. Delegitimizing feminism is sexism in itself because it is silencing the conversation about the issues women face and turning it into women just being cold, hard, emotional, man-hating b**ches. Women are not wrong for having feelings and whatever feelings we have should not be used to reduce us. Real feminism, legitimate feminism, is not about hating men or trying to take their rights away, or claiming that all men are scoundrels. The opposite is true. Feminism is about equality for all, no matter what gender you are, and it is intersectional, understanding that some women experience greater forms of discrimination due to factors such as race and sexual orientation. It is about trying to break down the double standards that women have thrust upon them and create a world in which women do not have to be afraid. Women know that not all men are going to hurt them, but we have been hurt and abused often enough that it has become a legitimate fear. That is why we need feminism.

Mr. Meninist, I don’t even want to hear the word "meninism" because it is nothing but an insult. I’ve spoken to people like you before and I’ve heard their arguments and here is what is wrong with your "stance." You do not do anything actively for the people you claim to represent and defend; i.e. men. You do nothing to support the rights of gay men, trans men, or men of color. You do nothing to combat hyper-toxic masculinity which is actually an issue that feminism is addressing. You do nothing to help men who are victims of rape or domestic violence, or men who suffer from eating disorders or depression. What you do is to shoot down women who dare to point out legitimate issues that they face every day due to male privilege. And often times women who post videos or anything about these issues receive threats of rape. You meninists claim that you are not bad men that would treat women poorly; if that were true then you would be condemning the men that do, not telling women to shut up. I’m tired of hearing “not all…” Do you want to help make the world a better place? Then stop defending those that don’t and start condemning and educating those that do.

All issues in our society can be addressed but silencing the conversation about one issue by bringing up another issue does not help anyone. When women’s issues are being spoken about, it is not the place to say "well did you know that men face this, or men face that." Yes, that is important, and I would be happy to discuss that with you at a separate time in a separate setting because the problems that we need to solve do not have to be one or the other. I know that some men have taken the word meninist to try and address legitimate issues that men face, and I respect that. But I urge those men to take a different name. You can fight for the rights of men because there are stigmas against them, but you can do that in a way that does not take away a woman's voice or mock women for trying to address the issues they face. Feminism is not one of the issues that men face. Feminism was created as a legitimate movement to address real problems that women face, it does not seek to silence or degrade men, it seeks to give women a voice. Meninism was created as a way to mock and silence feminists.

And stop acting like women are bad people for rejecting you. Women not being interested in you is not women seeking to make you feel bad about yourself or treat you like you are just another jerk. I do not care how great you are. You could be the nicest, smartest, most handsome man on the planet, and that still wouldn't change the fact that I am not obligated to be interested in you. If you were really such a nice guy as you claim to be, you would have taken my “no” and left me alone as opposed to continuing to pester me and tell me how great you are when I had already expressed that I was not interested. I speak from personal experience. If I’ve said no to you and you start telling me how you're not like other guys that would treat me badly then you are part of the problem and you have already contradicted yourself. And don’t ask me if it’s because you're ugly because that response only shows me that you are ugly on the inside. I am not confused or a bad person for saying no to you, and I would respect you a hell of a lot more if you would accept whatever answer I gave you.

I am not trying to attack you with this letter, and this letter is not me just being an emotional b**ch, and I hate that I feel the need to say that because it should go without saying. Yes, I am an emotional creature, but my emotions do not cloud my judgment, nor should they be used to delegitimize my concerns. We all recognize problems due to our emotions. Our emotions and our empathy are what help us to better the world. I should not have to be afraid to be a person and live my life just because I am a woman. And when I say this I am not trying to say that you should have to be afraid. I am not trying to silence you, I am sharing my voice. I pray that one day all of those out there like you will understand and respect that, and women will not have to go to such great lengths to defend themselves.

Sincerely,

A Feminist

P.S. As I was writing this, the word meninist/meninism was continuously presented with a red line beneath it, marking it as being unrecognizable to the English language. Just more proof that it is not anything legitimate.