As I sit here on the eve of the longest week of my life, I slowly realize that all the familiarity in life is dispersing into a million pieces. Yes, my friends and foes are all leaving for college. Everything that I've known for the past 17 years of my life is quickly coming to an end. My letter to everyone suffering the same withdrawals as I am is one that will be common ground when we are no longer going to be on common ground.
To Those Struggling to Say Goodbye,
You are not by any means alone. Everything that seems normal to you will be turned upside down and flip flopped a million times until it finally becomes your new normal. If you asked me a couple weeks ago if I was ready for one of the biggest changes in my life, I would've said absolutely not and refused to talk about it any further. If you ask me that again today, I would do the same exact thing. Goodbyes are extremely hard for me and so is change. I don't care if we were close, or used to be close, or were my past love, it's hard to say goodbye to someone who meant so much in your life.
As we sit under the stars and recollect every moment we've gone through, every tear we've shed, and every heartbreak we've had, I take a moment to think back. A moment where everything in life was simple and perfect. These moments in life are ones we look back on with each other and wonder what ever happened. We laugh at all the stupid jokes we make because we know we won't be laughing together again for quite a while. We take time to look at each other, as awkward as it might be, because we know we may not see that face again for a while.
We take a moment to sit back in the quiet and take it all in... Heavy sighs and loud breathing take over in place of conversation because we really don't know what else to say. The moment we've all been dreading has finally come. As we pack each other up in baskets and tubs for our new adventures, tears replace the laughs. Tight squeezes become our way of wasting time so we don't have to part, but it's time to say goodbye. My eyes start to fill with pools of salty water, and my breath becomes short; this is becoming reality. There is no way out of this gut-wrenching feeling, we just have to take it with bravery and reassurance. Reassurance that when November comes we can see each other once more, no matter how short it may be.
If you are unfortunate like me, you watch everyone you love leave before you... It's not easy and I don't think I could ever prepare myself for this week. You worry for what the future will bring, you fear your best friend won't be the same best friend at the end of the semester, you fear that life will never return to how it used to be, and that's OK. I can't sit here and say that it's going to be a breeze, but I can say that almost everyone feels the same way.
Breathe your last breaths with your friends, take in everything about them and everything that you love about who they are. Sit in silence and remember everything that you went through, every moment of joy, every moment of depression, and everything in between. Enjoy each other's company and reminisce the love you share for your friendships. Hug them even tighter than before and say your final goodbye. Cry if you need to because that's the only way to get it all out, even if you're a guy. Remember all the endless memories, reflect back on what they meant to you and your day to day life. Always remember to keep them close, even if they're hundreds of miles away.
You aren't alone, and together we commonly suck at goodbyes.
XOXO,
The Girl Who Already Misses Everyone She Loves
