When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up;
the flames will not consume you.
- Isaiah 43:2

Sometimes, God takes us through deep waters. There are so many anecdotal statements that people come up with to give us the reasons why...

God takes us through deep waters so we can reach the land on the other side.

God takes us through deep waters because our enemies don't know how to swim.

God takes us through deep waters so that we can blah blah blah...

I hate those anecdotal statements, those generic tropes that we throw at hurting people because we don't want to get down in the mud with them. As someone who is going through deep waters right now, when I hear one of these statements, I do not hear encouragement, but rather blatant disregard. It's as if the trope-caster is saying, "look, your pain inconveniences me. I wish you'd just get over it, but I can't say that out loud. So let me try to 'encourage' you with as little effort as possible."

If you're reading this, and you're a branded trope-caster, it might be time to self-evaluate and make a stronger effort to comfort those in your life who feel like they are drowning right now. Yes, that's exactly what deep waters feel like. They don't feel like a fun little swimming session. They feel like choppy, furious waves crashing all around you as you're desperately gasping for air, trying to move forward towards the patch of sunlight that seems miles away (or towards the promise of one that you can't even see). If you just don't care about those people, don't say anything to them at all. Don't pretend you care; and if you actually do care, show it genuinely.

If you're reading this and you're going through deep waters, this article is an attempt to comfort you. I'm not writing this as someone who has been through deep waters before, I'm writing this as someone who is currently in them. I'm not going to throw anecdotes at you. I'm going to tell you what I need to hear right now, in hopes that maybe you need to hear it, too. Maybe it will help you.

My observations during this time of deep waters have been that God feels distant; absent, even. I feel completely and utterly alone. But I know that I am not. I have to remain confident of the goodness of the Lord, even when it feels like I am drowning and He is just watching me sputter as I gasp for air. He's not. He's in the water with me.

I think that sometimes, God has to let me swim on my own, even though He's swimming beside me the entire time. He has to let me develop swimming muscles. Maybe He has to let me learn to ask for help. I don't know what He's doing, but I know He's doing something. Despite the deep waters that I have been struggling to swim through, I have seen far too much evidence of Him in the sky, the horizon and even the otherwise desolate waters around me to truly consider Him absent. I've seen far too many promises, despite His occasional silence. I've seen far too much love pouring out from His arms, and truthfully, it is I who turns from Him, not the other way around.

Sometimes, I'm not turning from Him, but I still cannot find Him. I think that the waves grow so high sometimes that I have lost sight of Him. Or maybe, I am underwater, and He is at the surface, allowing me to learn how to make it back up there. I know that a good father allows his children to learn through trial by error, especially when they are stubborn. A good father allows his son to get hit with a ground ball during baseball practice early on, so that when he's playing in high school, he has the proper form and knows how to get in front of the ball. When he learns at a young age, when the stakes are low, how to use the correct technique, he has a far slimmer risk of injury when he's playing as a man, and the stakes are high because the ball moves so much faster. I kind of wonder if that's how God is. God is the ultimate Good Father. He knows when I'm in too deep. He knows when to come after me.

But if He saves me from everything, every time, will I not take His grace for granted? Will I not have a far less intense love for Him, because I don't appreciate His power and His goodness? Will I not be angry, because He steps in every single time I need Him, and He doesn't give me a chance to do it myself?

How can I fully appreciate Him if I don't really need Him?

I don't believe that God forces me to go through awful things because He wants me to need Him so badly. God doesn't need my love. I think that I have sought God, and sought intimacy with Him, and He has brought me to this. I will not deny that bad things happen to everybody. It is also true that consequences rain down on those who make poor decisions. I have found, though, that deep waters often involve situations in which the transgressions of others affect us directly, in the path that we went down because we felt God lead us through it. God does not always stretch out His hand to protect us from those effects.

One of the biggest things I've learned through these deep waters is that I can't do anything for myself. I either have to rely on the grace of God in the knowledge I have of Him, or the deliberate actions of God preserving me in some capacity. I am thankful, however, for the deepest waters, because as far down as they go to the ocean floor, that's how vast my knowledge of my Father grows when I encounter them.

I think I'm finally on the shallow side of these deep waters, making it back to land once again. It's been six months of these stormy waves. Six months of crying so hard, I was gasping for air, feeling like I would never be okay again. Six months of a dark, terrifying depression, and a sadness that never seemed to leave me. I've felt for the past six months like I was trying to swim over the Mariana Trench. After six months, though, I think I might finally be free.

I heard a song the other day by Bethel Music that really encouraged me. The lyrics read, "It is finished, He has won... The war is over, His love has come." That's such an incredibly encouraging reminder. I might be fighting my own war right now, but the real battle is finished. It was won long ago when Jesus died for me. He will fight and win my battles, as well. Though He may call me to fight, He is always fighting beside me, and the most difficult battle was won by His blood.

I'm so grateful for His love. Even if it calls me to go through deep waters.

He is with you. Do not forget it.

Soli Deo Gloria!