An Open Letter To This Crazy Cold Weather

An Open Letter To This Crazy Cold Weather

In other words, you're tacky and I hate you.

Dear current cold front,

I guess I shouldn't be that mad, because it's January and it's supposed to be cold. Winter should bring snow and my car should be frosted shut... but man, you really overdid it!

It's snowing in Florida, southern Georgia is expected to have up to 5 inches of snow piled up within the next few weeks and the high here in Atlanta is not even above freezing today. Six Flags closed early, many national parks aren't open and there are advisories to stay indoors that are so extreme, kids aren't going outside for recess. This is some serious winter -- what are we supposed to do? Winter in the south is supposed to mean 45 degrees with windchill... I've never even seen a negative number associated with a temperature.

Well, since you're here, I have a few things to say. First of all, thank you for giving us some warning. It's important that we are aware of what cold weather can do -- we need to make sure our water keeps dripping so the pipes don't freeze, that we cover up our bare skin and make sure our puppies aren't kept outside. We turn on our cars ahead of leaving so that they run more efficiently, which helps the environment, but we always check for sleeping cats seeking wind shelter before we turn on anything. We make sure the heat is always on for ourselves when we get home.

But please go easy on us. Please recognize that we are trying to dig ourselves out of other situations, like storms in Boston that have flooded our streets or wreckage left behind from the summer hurricane beatdowns. Please let our forests and our crop fields grow back. Please let us make it through your icy effects with dignity and strength, not crawling on our hands and knees back to our furnaces and fireplaces.

And finally, although it is a bit out of your expertise, please give us the humanity to help those who are cold, hungry and struggling around us. Please give us the eyes to see the problems around us and the senses to feel the wind bite down on our necks, both metaphorically and physically, and help us to empathize with those who lack blankets. Please help us to create a community for our fellow humans instead of shutting them out -- we have extra resources that we can share.

Well, enjoy your stay, I guess. We know you'll be back -- so please save some of your snow for then. In the meantime, safe travels.

A confused southerner

Cover Image Credit: Max Pixel

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7. "Fergalicious" — Fergie

8. "Every Time We Touch" — Cascada

9. "Ms. New Booty" — Bubba Sparxxx

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17. "Party Like A Rockstar" — Shop Boyz

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20. "Bartender" — T-Pain

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16 'Golden Girls' Quotes That Are Still Golden In 2019

Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia..four unique middle aged women from different backgrounds under one roof.


One of the greatest shows of all time (at least in my opinion) is Golden Girls. I was not born yet when it first aired in 1985, but thankfully it is on Hulu. Here are just some of the many quotes from the series's seven-year run.

1. Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. -Blanche Devereaux

2. Go to sleep sweetheart. Pray for brains. -Dorothy Zbornak

3. Dorothy, was Sophia naked just now, or does her dress really need ironing. -Rose Nylund

4. People waste their time pondering whether a glass if half empty of half full. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass. -Sophia Petrillo

5. I've been having a giood time, and there wasn't even a man in the room. -Blanche Devereaux

6. As they say in St. Olaf, Helgenbargenflergenflurfennerfen. -Rose Nylund

7. Have I given you any indication that I care? -Sophia Petrillo

8. I'm as jumpy as a virgin in a prison rodeo. -Blanche Devereaux

9. Blanche, I could get herpes listening to this story -Dorothy Zbornak

10. I had a knack for coming up with the firmest, most appealing yams. -Rose Nylund

11. No, I will not have a nice day! -Dorothy Zbornak

12. Look, you didn't ask for my opinion, but I'm old, so I'm giving it anyway. -Sophia Petrillo

13. There is a fine line between having a good time and being a wanton slut. My toe has been on that line. Blanche Devereaux

14. You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying. -Dorothy Zbornak

15. Everybody likes me. -Rose Nylund

16. Silly rabbi. Tricks are for kids. -Sophia Petrillo

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