As a lot of people know, if you have a group of friends, there are friends that are "given" the responsibility of parent. While responsible about some things, especially when it comes to my relationships, I am very irresponsible. This is true, in variation, for a lot of people my age. Fictive kinship is important and very complex (I wrote a paper on it for my anthropology class). It's kind of odd, but when you think about it: it happened throughout time and happens throughout the world. This isn't something that Millennials invented. Examples like Compadrazgo in Mexican culture and Rodi as a Gurung tradition exist currently.
From the outside looking in, this seems ridiculous. Honestly though, if you lived it, you'd love it. It's not that fictive kinship means that I rely on one friend for fixing meals and reminding me to do my homework. Give me a little credit, I am able to do that much. It mostly means that I have someone that supports me emotionally and helps "scratch the itches I can't reach."
Growing up in a family where I'm relatively close to my mom, it's kind of odd not to see her everyday. My first semester of college I wanted to call my mom a lot. I soon learned that we did not keep the same schedule. After all my class work and extra things, my mom had been asleep for hours. So what was I to do? I found someone who could understand and empathize with my college issues. I found someone who reminded me of the little things, without which I might have lost my mind.
Having a "college mom" isn't replacing my home mom. She's helping me to learn to live without relying on whom I've always relied. I love my mom. I love my "mom" as well. Eventually I will have to be my own "mom," but I'm not there yet; but I don't have to be. I am learning to be the adult version of me me while teaching my "mom" to act a bit more like someone our age. We balance each other out, and that's what's important.
So Lexi, thanks for making me drink water on days when I had too much of some other stuff. Thank you for always being there for me when Daniel isn't perfect. Thank you for waiting for me in Muddy for our Tuesday only girls/all complaining lunches. Thank you for dying my hair on the weekends that the track team is away. Thank you for knowing both of our schedules because, Lord knows, I can never remember if my one o'clock is MWF or TTH. Most of all, thank you for being my best friend through all the crap I've given you (and calling me out on it when I need it). Let's have an amazing sophomore year of college together!
I love you - xoxo your Hanney
