Dear April Fool's Day,
I can't express how much of an impact you've had on my life. Some of my greatest memories have been on this day. Remember that time when I convinced all the other kids on vacation that we had to leave because there was going to be a big snow storm later that day? Or how about that time that I switched out my friend's shampoo with hair dye? Classic. Oh! Oh! Oh! What about that time when I took my friend's cat when he was looking and told him it died? He was crying laughing. It was so funny, he hasn't even talked to me since then because he knows nothing can top that moment.
Boy, those were some good times, but the weird thing about the good days is that they can just go by and you barely notice until they're completely gone. And on April 1st, 2016, that's when I realized the good days were gone.
Courtesy of Dylan Alves
I woke up normally: severely hungover with about three or four unexplained bruises and Michael Bolton's "When a Man Loves a Woman" playing on a loop in the background, I reached for my phone to see the date was April 1st, along with 52 missed calls from John Stamos. How could I have forgotten? It's the best day of the year! I hadn't thought of anything to do beforehand, and I had a lot of work to do that day, so I decided to take a year off from pranking and simply enjoy. This will be my appreciation year. And what a year it was to do this.
I excitedly talked to my friends and walked around campus, just looking to be the victim of a hilarious prank. And I thought I got one when I got a C on my Astronomy exam, but it turns out that was all real. So, bored in my Astronomy class, I looked up on Facebook and found this article. And I thought are you kidding me? President Obama is coming to Rutgers? I tell this to everyone. I tell my roommate, I tell my family, I tell my priest, and I tell my rabbi this, but, with no exception, they came back with the same response: "dude, it's an April Fool's joke."
Courtesy of Tyler Harris Smith
I couldn't believe it. When I experienced your jokes, whether it be on the giving or receiving side, I loved the effort and creativity put into them. Now, however, I couldn't believe that a team of people — a team that whose job is to give the news — stooped so low to just write an article that doesn't have the validity of a news story or the wit of (some) Onion articles. Instead, it was just a regular article with extraordinary circumstances and "blah" lo-jinks.
And it didn't stop there. I saw this National Geographic article, but I was too smart to get tricked twice. I thought that was the end of that, until I found this article, which truly truly broke my heart. You can lie to me that the President is coming to my campus, but, April Fools, don't lie to me about the "Community" movie being in the works!
There were so many of these fake articles, there was literally a genuine article — for once — about how many fake articles by real websites there were. And as the clock struck 12 and your illustrious day passively transitioned into April 2nd, I was not pranked once, nor did I see anyone get pranked. However, I did see a couple of false articles. And maybe this is just me refusing to get to the digital age, but I really think that this new "April Fools Day," if you really want to call it that, doesn't fit well at all. Birthdays? Perfect. Facebook is the best for birthdays. But April Fool's Day? Sorry. It just doesn't work. You were about creativity. You were about taking what was around you and making something out of it. You were about mass manipulation, about creating elaborate cover-ups with accomplices and changing your brother's month on the calendar to convince him that he was in a coma.
Courtesy of Ryan Applegate
But now you are a sound byte in a book of sound bytes that is our culture. You have become a nuisance, a reason for people to put their B.S. filters on for the day, like they haven't anyway. And this sadness has devolved me into a man who just looks sad all the time. That's what you made me, April Fool's Day, and I can't keep feeling this way, even if that means parting with you. Maybe I'll give Pi day another shot.
Truly all the best,
Brent Leoni
Courtesy of Alex Burris
