I Own My Insecurities By Being Honest About Them

I Own My Insecurities By Being Honest About Them

Being open and truthful about things makes life simpler.

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We've all heard the quote "honesty is the best policy," and I think everyone inherently knows deep down that we should be honest (even though people are often dishonest but that's not what this article is about). However, not only is honesty good karma, but it's actually really good for your mental health because it takes away a lot of stress. Don't believe me? Well, let me prove it.

If you've seen Pitch Perfect, you know who "Fat Amy" is:

Well, one of her iconic lines perfectly aligns with what I'm talking about. The more you can be open with things that make you insecure or anxious, the less insecure or anxious you will feel about them. This example seems pretty extreme, but I think the tactic is brilliant and it's something I've come to use in many aspects of my life.

To give a few more examples (if you don't feel like giving yourself a nickname), I have a good friend who is a Theater major who doesn't like performing (she's a designer), but she has to perform anyway because of class requirements. Whenever she gets up to perform, she worries if people can tell if she is nervous and secretly hopes they can't, but that leads to overthinking and makes her even more nervous. After a conversation with her professor, the professor gave her the age-old (and, in my opinion; useless) advice to "use the nervousness." She took that very literally, and rather than worrying if her classmates could tell she was nervous, she announces before every performance that she is nervous so she no longer worries if her classmates can tell because she's already blatantly told them. Now she can focus on her performance and let her nerves do what they will. This tactic of announcing and owning your nervousness is beneficial in any situation, especially high-stress events like dates or performances of any kind.

Along with reducing anxiety, honesty can also reduce insecurities. For example, if I ever have a stain on my shirt, a hole in my pants, or something else that could feel embarrassing, I announce it to everyone I'm with. This way I'm not insecure about the minor imperfection because I'm not worried that people will notice and judge me because I know they've noticed. I've told them and that's all I can do. If they decide to judge me, that is their prerogative, but I will own that coffee stain on my shirt and go about my day.

Honesty makes life easier and is good for your mental health. If you take away the worry that people will see through your facade, your life is easier because you don't have to try to hide anything. Own your insecurities and be open about your anxieties because they're very real and hiding them is nearly impossible.

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Sorry I'm A Size 00

But I'm not really sorry.
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My whole life I’ve been thin—which is kind of an understatement. Every time I go to the doctor I get the same “you’re underweight” lecture that I’ve heard every year since I was able to form memories. I’ve never really felt insecure about my weight, I love being able to eat everything and not gain a single pound. Since my freshman year of high school I’ve probably only gained 8 pounds and I’m now a sophomore in college. Of course, in school, there were rumors that I was anorexic or bulimic, but everyone who knew me knew that was far from the truth. I’m now 19, 5’2, and I still have yet to break 100 pounds on the scale. It seems that there is a lot of skinny shaming going around and to me, one of the main contributors to that is the Dove Real Beauty campaign.

You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this because skinny girls get all the praise and other body types are neglected. That’s really not true, though. While loving other body types, you are tearing down skinny girls. Why is it okay to do that to skinny girls but not to other body types? Why is it okay to say “only dogs like bones” or say “every body type is beautiful” until you see a model's abs, or ribs, or thigh gap and then tear them down because they’re “unnaturally” skinny?



The point I’m trying to make is that, as a naturally skinny girl, I have never shamed anyone for their body type, yet I go every day and get at least two comments about my weight. I’m always the skinny girl, the toothpick, but I’m not Jessica. Yeah, I’m a size 00. Get over it. If you have an issue with my body and feel like my body is disgusting to you, don’t look at it. I know that I’m healthy and I don’t need your input when my body just naturally burns calories fast. I don’t have an eating disorder and never have. I am real beauty though, and I know that because I’m comfortable in my own skin. So maybe the real issue is that we as a society have been shoving certain body types down our daughters’ throats so they begin to romanticize models that have certain standards that they have to meet, who work hard for the bodies that they have, and are making a hell of a lot more money than most of the people discussing why they look emaciated while what they’re actually looking at is the photoshopped product.

I’m not going to apologize for being skinny when that is just how my body is, I can’t help it. So please, stop tearing my body down while trying to bring your body up. You can praise your body without shaming skinny girls. Shaming me for being thin does not make you better than the man that shamed your body, just as me shaming you for being curvy does not make me better than the man that shamed my body. As women, we need to love each other because we are the only ones who truly understand each other.


Cover Image Credit: Victoria's Secret Untouched

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Not Everyone's Struggle Is Life Or Death, And That's OK

Someone's going to have it worse than you because that's how life is, but that doesn't make your problems meaningless.

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I was in probably 9th or 10th grade when I heard something that stuck with me. They said, "Think about this the next time you go to complain about your struggles; Someone else has it so much worse. Someone lost a parent or a husband today."

While this is true, I don't agree with it.

In fact, I think it's the farthest thing from the truth. Obviously, someone's going to have it worse than you because that's how life is, but that doesn't make your problems meaningless.

As someone who has dealt with some terrifying things, I don't want people to feel bad about telling me about their struggles. I wanna know that you've been feeling super depressed or that you bombed your history final. I wanna be there to watch Netflix and eat Chinese with you when you get dumped or take a drive around town because you're confused about life. I wanna know that any time you try to hang out with your best friend, his s.o. tags along and you have no idea what to do about it. I wanna know that you have a fever and need someone to bring you dinner or fill you in on what happened in class.

Yeah, I had a deadly disease, so what? I have days like these all the time.

I was the girl who bombed her history final even though I spent hours studying and the girl who had the flu and needed someone to bring her food. And now, I am a girl who has been trying desperately to not feel like a third wheel every time I get food with my best friend.

And you can be damn sure I complained to my mom about all of it.

My point is, each of us is struggling with something in our lives and we should be able to share it with the people in our lives.

If someone is truly there for you, they won't have any second thoughts about listening to your problems, no matter how minuscule they seem.

And if they do have second thoughts, well they were never really there for you in the first place.

So be honest. If you're having a sucky day, tell your friends. If you bombed a test, tell your classmates because chances are, you're not the only one. If you just found out you're presenting a ten-minute speech in two days, complain to your roommate, then get to work.

Your problem may not be life or death, but if you're struggling, tell someone.

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