Going through hard times is a part of life that everyone faces. It’s inevitable because without bad there cannot be good. It’s one of the dualities that existence stands upon and loves to throw in our faces.
Now that we’ve established that it’s inevitable, there’s something important to understand about going through these rough patches. In this particular case, we’re talking about internal struggle rather than a battle against an external force.
So hard spells come and go, and they come in thousands of ways, one at a time or in a constant buildup. They can be minor at first, but soon you feel like you’re drowning. Your head’s barely above the water, and you’re struggling against the waves.
Someone, maybe even more than one, is bound to see you struggling and try to help, be it by offering themselves or with a floatation device like a boogie board or a life preserver. There’s nothing wrong with taking hold of whatever they offer; if you don’t, you’ll drown!
What you need to remember, though, is that it’s your body that is in the water, not theirs. It’s a long way back to shore, and there is nothing obligating these people to stay. In fact, there are plenty of reasons why they might leave.
Perhaps they can swim faster than you, and want to make their way back to shore before their skin prunes. Perhaps the sun is too hot, the waves rougher than they expected, and their body, too, begins to struggle against the waves the same way yours did. Perhaps a wave unexpectedly crashes over their head while they were making sure you were alright and disorients them. Or perhaps they stay.
Still, it is your body that is struggling to get back to shore. Whether or not these helping hands stay for the whole journey, it is up to you to take whatever help they have given you, be it their presence, a boogie board, a life preserver. You are the one in trouble, and they can’t pull your weight back to shore on their own unless you both want to drown along the way.
While it’s great to have people beside you in times of need, it always returns to the fact that only you can save yourself. They can be shoulders to cry on or hands to hold, but it is your desire and determination to move past these hardships that will help you over the mountain or from the ocean to shore. Only you know what you think and feel, and only you can work toward changing that mindset. People can push you to, yes, but you are the one who must put in the effort to change your habits.
Never be afraid to accept a hand while you’re down, but do not expect that person to set carry you back to where you belong, set you down, brush away the dust on your clothes, and bandage up your wounds. That isn’t their job, and expecting them to do that for you when they have their own life to live can be dangerous because the let down will be even worse when added to the struggles already weighing down your shoulders.
Only you can save yourself, and you’ll grow as a person on the way there, regardless of who you gain and lose. You’ll thank yourself down the line.
