Only children are interesting.
Half the world seems to think that we're tyrannical, indulged brats who don't like to share. The other half seems to think we're odd, anti-social loners who can't make friends. I don't think I fit either of those descriptions, and my belief is bolstered by the fact that none of my friends who grew up as only children seem to fit them, either.
I had a great time being an only child. I was given a say in everyday decisions typically reserved for adults. I was almost always part of whatever conversation was happening around me. Additionally, being an only child gave me a chance to get to know each of my parents really well as individuals, and I consider them two of my best friends (groan with disapproval if you like).
In my teens, when each of my parents entered into long-term relationships with people who had other children, my living situation changed, and when your living situation changes, so does your life.
Most people probably assume that I don't like having step-siblings, perhaps because I sometimes refer to my blended family as "the new regime," but there's more to it than that. The experience of having stepsiblings after growing up for so many years as an only child has been so different from anything I've ever known. Even the unpleasant situations have a newness that makes them appealing.
Everything about having siblings carried with it this new, unique flavor. Having to sit through a show I didn't want to watch or eat at a restaurant I didn't help choose was an exhilarating, new experience. On that note, maybe it's good not to get your way all the time. I've had a lot of experiences I wouldn't otherwise have had by simply letting other people lead the way.
It's been nice not to be the only person close to my age in my house. Before, I was the only kid in a world full of adults, which made it quite easy for everyone to forget I was a kid. When there weren't other kids around, I didn't want to be seen as a kid and be separated from the adults because then I'd be all alone. However, now there was this other, much cooler group of which I could be a part.
The idea of step-siblings is pretty heavy to contemplate.
They aren't like you.
You aren't like them.
Until now, they've had an entirely different parenting experience than you have, and suddenly you all have to get used to a completely different family dynamic. This can be jarring. Not surprisingly, you might find that you can't exactly be best friends with your stepsiblings, at least not right away. It takes time to get used to each other.
It was good to be the only one. It was good to feel heard, to be seen as a peer, to have privacy. But it's not always cake and ice cream and throwing exquisite tantrums. Being an only child means spending a lot of time on your own, and even if you own every book in the world, that can get lonely. Even if things get a little tense sometimes, a house full of people has so much more life than a quiet house with just a few people who aren't even around all the time. When my youngest stepsibling finally left for college, and I was the only kid in the house again, I found myself feeling pretty sad.
It's amazing how the absence of just one person can change a household. Everything was so quiet. I wasn't ready for that. I'd spent all this time worrying about my new siblings invading my space and infringing on the control I had over my own situation, only to find that being alone and having all the control I could ask for wasn't what I wanted anymore.
So, I enjoy my stepsiblings. They're part of my family. Picking restaurants is overrated, anyway.
