Disclaimer: I'm incredibly blessed to have never lost a close family member but I have lost more friends than I'd like to see but just because I haven't experienced that doesn't mean I don't know what loss is.

One of my favorite quotes reads, "It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting it's sanity covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens but it is never gone."

I think it's odd how humans handle loss. I think it's interesting how scientists or psychologist try to analyze it and tell us how we're supposed to feel. I think it's interesting how we tell each other what we need to hear to make sense of what is happening. We say things like, "they're not in pain anymore," or "they would want you to remember them happy," or "they're up there with so-and-so and they're having fun." We don't know if any of that is true. There is no way of knowing those things. We tell each other those things because we don't know what else to say.

You tell yourself whatever comfort phrase you need to hear and repeat to make it to the next day. As humans, I don't think we know how to move on or grieve correctly (if there is a correct way). You just do it. Because you have to. Because what else are you going to do? We distract ourselves long enough to not feel the loss anymore and we wipe our eyes and push the smile back on our faces and go on with the day.

There's a lot of different ways humans grieve though. Some keep everything bottled inside and never show signs of weakness. Others express themselves openly (hence why I'm writing this). Some print pictures, plant memorial trees or even get tattoos. It's all just us doing our best to live a life without them.

Personally, when I experience loss, I feel like I'm doing the loved one a disservice if I don't take time to grieve them. And people tell me all the cliches but I don't think many of them understand that I just want to be quiet. I want to have time with the parted. I want to talk about them. I can't just go on living pretending they weren't a significant part of my life. I need time to process. If I'm not given time to process then I need to keep myself busy until I have time to completely lose my shit and then process.

As we grow older, we experience loss more and more and the scar tissue starts piling up but I don't think we'll ever learn how to handle it gracefully or with ease. But maybe that's the point? It's not supposed to be easy. We're supposed to feel something so deeply so we know how to love harder.

I don't know.