Most people have heard of what is known as, Middle Child Syndrome. According to Wikipedia, Middle Child Syndrome is the feeling of exclusion by middle children (those with one younger and one older sibling). This effect occurs because the first child is more prone to receive privileges and responsibilities (by virtue of being the oldest), while the youngest in the family is generally considered the baby.
I have the title of the older child in my family. I was the first child born, then came my sister and then my baby brother. I would say I am very lucky to have two siblings and each being a different gender.
I say that I have the title of the older child because I don't believe that Middle Child Syndrome is the only a thing that happens to children when there are older siblings, middle siblings, and younger siblings.
Me being the older child, I feel like Wikipedia's definition of Middle Child Syndrome does relate to me in some ways, but not always in an inclusive, great way. They say the first child, AKA the older child, is more prone to privileges and responsibilities by the virtue of being the oldest. Now, I am not saying that every family and children are the same, but growing up was tough for me. Being the oldest child came with benefits, yes, but downfalls as well.
To some, privileges and responsibilities are great. Yes, I do agree, they are great, but they are tough to follow and live by being the older child. Being born as the older child means parents don't know anything about raising a kid. (Well kind of, sort of, maybe.)
Growing up, in order to receive privileges, I needed to gain my parents trust and much more than just that. I needed to do everything right in the house. This came with responsibility. In order for the privileges to come my way, I needed to prove many different things to my parents. Jealousy would fill me when my friends who had older siblings were allowed to do things I wasn't allowed to because my parents didn't think I was responsible enough or didn't trust me enough.
When I look at my sister who is in the middle and my baby brother, my parents say yes to them about things it would have taken a week for them to think about for me.
Pressure is put on the older child. I needed to set the standards for my siblings. I need to make sure I got good enough grades so my parents would be able to point out to them, this is what we expect. I needed to do my homework and show them what a good student was/is.
Exclusion does come along being the older child. Not particularly always in the family setting, but with friends. Like mentioned before, a lot of my friends had older siblings, so their parents knew what to do. I wouldn't be able to do some things with them because my parents would tell me no, you're not allowed. I was excluded because my parents didn't know how to handle the first child. I was like the guinea pig.
Being the oldest child comes with feelings of exclusion and other types of feelings just like being the middle child does. Same goes for the youngest or baby in the family. It all is perspective and the way you are raised. I do believe Older Child Syndrome is a thing itself, though.
To me, Older Child Syndrome is as if you're a guinea pig of the family. The feeling of too much pressure and the feeling that everything needs to be done right or else.
Or else what? Exactly, you don't know. You don't know this because you're the older child. However, if you're two younger siblings saw what happened and knew not to make the mistake you made, they can easily work around it so they don't need to be in the sticky situation you being the older child may have been stuck in.
Older Child Syndrome is definitely something to me, something in my family, and I'm sure something other older children feel in different families.
I wouldn't change my siblings in any way just because of the way we were put into this world at the time we were and in the order we were. Me being the oldest child, my sister Madeline being the middle child and my brother Ethan being the youngest child all worked out the way it was supposed to.
One thing I know is that I am the best oldest sister both of them will ever have.
