I am 20 years old, and for as long as I can remember I have not wanted children. This is probably one of the worst things I can say in conversation but it’s the truth. I do not want children. When I say this, I get a mix of reactions, but the most common is “you will want them some day.” Oh, sorry lady from three streets over, but I am pretty sure that I would know whether or not I want kids, like ever. Unfortunately for my mom, this is the case. I never want kids, and I think that is okay.
Recently, I read an article on Elite Daily that a woman wrote in response to the same comments that I receive. She went on to list 5 real reasons that I completely related to, which include freedom, pregnancy, how we are killing the planet and two others. Below are some real comments and questions that I have received, and ultimately my answer as to why I believe it is okay to not have children (even though I may still be a "hateful bitch." (Thanks, Mom!)
“If you replace yourself, how are you killing the environment?” My response to this is, "first, do you realize how stupid you sound, and secondly, bringing anyone into this world will overlap with your own existence on this planet creating double the waste for at least 40 years." Now why would someone wish that upon the earth? (Sorry if that isn't the correct math, but you get the point)
“Once you hold that child in your arms, nothing else matters.” Oh, but you are mistaken Great Aunt Bertha. Maybe that is how you felt after you popped out 13 lovely devils, but I know for certain I will still remember the pain and the hell this child put me through for nine months of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I think that bond between mother and child for the first 12 to 13 years is amazing, but eventually it fades, just like everything else in this world. Nothing is permanent, and as sad as it sounds neither is love. I want to be able to love something and someone whole-heartedly, especially if they are using me for their entire life. (Hello college!)
“You may not be able to do all those crazy teenager things anymore, but that just means you are growing up and becoming mature.” Oh, I can’t wait to be mature and grow up and lose all fun in my life! No. I will not let this happen to me. I know a lot of families that are able to go on trips together, but these trips are only during school vacation times (when prices are ridiculous) or when you retire (and who wants to travel to Central America at age 65?) I still have a lot of exploring to do, and I will not be able to do this if I have a family of four to worry about on top of a job. (Yes I am going to have a f*cking job if I have four kids—what year do you think it is, 1951?) I hate worrying, and in order to have a family and still have my freedoms, the worry would be overwhelming. I may not be a teenager and doing crazy teenager things at 30, but I sure as hell will want to go out on the weekends and take trips to Mexico for fun. As much as you may want to fight me on this one, I do not want to lose my freedom, I do not want to be pregnant, and I sure as hell do not want to kill the earth anymore than I already am.
To continue this tirade, as the responsible young adult that I am, being the crazy aunt with a couple cats and dogs, and all those Facebook albums of trips to Cancun and New Delhi is exactly what I want and all I could wish for myself. Hours of Special Victims Unit? A $10 Netflix membership. A bottle of wine with dinner? Only $14 at Safeway. Not having to worry about bedtimes or play dates or little Billy Bob’s gluten-free, lactose-free, vegan diet? Priceless! So, I am sorry mom and dad, but I think it is totally okay to not want kids, and if you don’t understand that by now, well, tough sh*t.
