I once saw this twitter post that said: how many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression.

Because honestly, it’s true. I kill all my plants, yet I buy more because the greenery around my room or in my photos on my Instagram just makes me really damn happy.

So nonetheless, an ode to my succulents.

You have made me so very happy. Happy to the extent I spent more than $30 just to have you shipped to me in quality conditions.

I’m sorry I always forget to water you. Someone once told me you’re only supposed to water succulents once a week, maybe it was once a month. Either way, I water you when I remember. I guess that’s better than drowning.

I got my first one of you at a farmer’s market in the town where I go to school. You were really damn expensive. But you came in a cute burgundy pot, that unfortunately shattered when one of my best friends threw a ball at my desk. (Still salty, Bryan). That was after he decided to take a big bite out of your leaf to see what you tasted like.

So as you can tell, I’ve had a lot of weird experiences with you.

This spring I special ordered ten of you. Five for me, five for my twin sister. (Of course, I picked all the pretty ones). I love when you have more red in you.

Three sit on top of my desk comforting me whenever I look up mid typing an essay I really don’t want to write.

Another sits by my window sill, accompanying the stack of books I’ve never read that I told myself a year ago I would.

The last one perches on my dresser in between my jewelry box and a lamp. You’re the little forgotten one, but still, whenever I go to pick out some jeans, you’re always there.

I suck at taking care of all of you and most of my friends call me basic for taking pictures of you. But green is one of my favorite colors and I really like nature.

Thanks for uplifting my mood, which I still don’t understand, but thanks.

You also make for really great puns, here are a few:

Aloe! Is it me you’re looking for?

You’re my soilmate.

Life would succ without you.

Don’t be a prick.

Aloe you vera much.

What up succa.

Sorry, I succ at puns.

So there you have it, my love for my succulents packaged in a short article. If you’re like me and your love for plants doesn’t stop there, hopefully your succulents won’t be jealous when you’re one day killing your new house plant too.

Thanks again little green buddies.