"Its like having two brains- A rational brain and an irrational brain. And they're constantly fighting." - Emilie Ford
"Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is characterized by unreasonable thoughts and fears (obsessions) that lead you to do repetitive behaviors (compulsions). It's also possible to have only obsessions or only compulsions and still have OCD." - Mayo Clinic
A lot of people think it's funny: "To be OCD just means you're a control freak!"
I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when I was very young. I would go around the house and would shut a door, open it and shut it again. I would pick things up, toss them back and forth a few times, put it down and do it again. At first, my mother thought I was just peculiar. She only decided to get me checked when I got into kindergarten; I had gotten up at nap time, as I had noticed an open door, I went to the door and open and shut it a matter of four times. The doctor confirmed her fears and told her I had a compulsive disorder.
When I was younger, I didn't know anything was wrong with me. I just thought I was more mature or cooler. As I got older, I began to see I was the only one who would notice repetitive patterns, step on certain tiles in the hall, or do the same task, two, four, or six times in a row. I didn't understand why other people would say "Oh I'm so OCD, I like have it cut out neatly," or "Oh I'm OCD, too! One time I closed the door two times on accident!"
I hate having to explain to people that "No, That's not OCD. That's normal." OCD is not something you can control. You do something as simple as closing a door and suddenly you get this urge to just do it one more time and suddenly one time turns into two and two turns to three and so on. It's an awful thing you don't have any control over at all. OCD isn't just opening and shutting doors a lot. You have thoughts that run around and around "Did I turn off the sink? Did I close and lock the door?" and it's not just a single time. It eats away at you until you can see if you've turned the sink off or locked the door. You have awful reoccurring thoughts and dreams and you've got no control over it. In short OCD isn't a game, it isn't funny. It's entirely too real and it can take over your life. You start to obsess over anything and everything. Even when you know it's OK you still obsess over it and you just cannot do anything about it. It's a torturous way to live and unfortunately, even with medication, cannot be cured. It can get better, but can never go away.
